And, of course, I did it to myself... but what's a mother to do? Things need to get cleaned, organized, thrown out, put away etc. And, much of this was overdue.
So, then I pay. I feel like a Mack truck hit me (or Peterbilt, Cin... doesn't matter) and then backed up to check I was down good. <sigh>
Yet, yesterday I got Hammer to his appointment with the neuro-psych counselor that handles his Asperger's Care and meds. And, we stopped at Starbuck's for a snack, and some 'just us' time. And, we hit Barnes & Noble for a little stroll, too, and it was a fruitful visit. Got a few good books for Hammer for school.
Tonight, Hubby took Hammer to his teen group, and now they are all at Boy Scouts together. Pumpkin and Fuzzy headed over at about 7:30pm. They should all be home about 9:15pm.
I just want to mention that although it is hard to deal with feeling like crap, especially when you have to push yourself to do things, I have always tried to not let it make me cranky or bitter.
There are so many people out there in the world who have had bad or unfortunate things happen to them. I have had my share, too. I chose to focus on my blessings. I chose not to allow myself to be defined by the negative things, not to allow bitterness to overcome me. I chose the joy. I chose the love. Those are the things I want to be remembered for and defined by in my life.
It doesn't mean that it isn't hard sometimes. It doesn't mean that I don't get frustrated, because I do. Being too fatigued to take a shower, is a sad state to be in, and it makes me mad sometimes. Having to wait a half hour for my morning meds and a cup of coffee to kick in before putting my hair up in a pony tail, can really make me want to scream... but I don't.
I am so blessed to have 3 wonderful kids. They keep me focused on the joy, on the happiness.
That is why I soldier on as best I can, and sometimes that means succumbing to the need to just sleep and rest, so I can 'Carpe Diem' another day real soon.
be well,
Dawn
Ps... did you see the full moon tonight? It is beautiful...
27 comments:
(((Dawn))) You need a virtual hug dear. I don't know how you do it, I can remember being a young Mom and I was in good health...it wore me out. I used to do my floors and cleaning at 2 am in morn, catch 4-5 hrs of sleep, get up for school for them, and work for me...go the whole day and start all over again. It was so hectic. Thats what my Alisa is going through now with four little stepping stones of her own, a hubby, a house, a career too. Oh, thanks for trying to help me with the heart thing, what happens when I drag the heart? I did manage to get my store link on the other side where it says Other Links....no I did not make that necklace, but it is gorgeous, I sold it within two hours of putting it up. I've been going to auctions, etc. and getting good jewelry at low prices, so I'm reselling on Ebay and everybody wins. I'm having fun I love real gems, diamonds, gold and silver...only problem is they are passing out of my hands tooooo fast....lol....go visit....Hope you feel better honey....love, Sandi
(((((((((((((((soft hugs my dear))))))))))))))))))
Deb
My heart goes out to you - When the pain is unbearable I feel bad for being cranky & I always feel bad about the tiredness - for not being able to be with my kids doing something fun. Sigh. Feel better soon.
I saw that fabulous moon tonight. I now see a woman who is so full of love and life, and I am in awe of her strength, courage, tenacity and determination. I see a woman who knows her limits, yet exceeds them in the name of that love. Have a good rest tonight, and a {{{HUG}}} from someone who admires your spirit, so much!
Blessings, Leigh
You know, I have to say that you have really made me think to myself that I need to get a check up. I am often so fatigued, I don't even want to think about standing in the shower. Naps are almost a daily requirement.... getting dressed? Blehhh....joint pain? Yep!
Something to think about, anyway....
~Amy
I do not know how you do all that you do...I guess it is your determination. God bless you Dawn.
love ya,
carlene
i watched america's next top model today and a gurl on there had asburgers and they talk about her behind her back and everything but she is a beauty and a sweet heart and i hope she wins so all them ugly ducks can be jealous.
I was gonna mention what Diama already said. The Asperger's girl really impressed the judges. I'm rooting for her.
Russ
Yes, the moon is beautiful!! :) The weekend is almost here, I hope it's turns out to be a good, and restful one! Take care - Julie :)
You truly are an ispiration to me.
((((BIG HUGS))))) Hope today is pain free.
Ellen
You have such a good view on your life! My son thinks just like you, and I think because of that, the disease will never get the best of him or you.
Missie
Oh Sweetie,
I know exactly what you are writing about. I could use a shower and am gearing up and waiting for my meds to kick in to do it. But I am still sorry you are flaring. It seems that with us on those days when we are feeling pretty good we just overdo it. Then, yes, pay for it some way. Keep up that amazing attitude you have. Hugs, LuAnne
(((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here---sometimes just sending hugs is all I can think of.
-Ellie
Sorry to hear your lupus is doing the nasty on you, Dawn. Full moon? Only behind the clouds last night.
I like that please keep soldiering up. What a great way to look at that. Hugs. Tish G.
You have such a great attitude! It's one of the reasons we keep coming back to read more! Sorry you hurt!
Traci
I've seen the full moon for the last two nights. It truly is beautiful. This heat is unreal for this time of year. We all have our up and down days hon. I just went through 2 weeks of downtime. Courage is the ability to get back up and not stay there for long. You do what you can, when you can. Your an inspiration how you soldier on when the going gets rough.
I was watching America's Top Model (I love to watch it for the simple reason, these skinny girls get catty as all get out), any way this season they have a young woman on who has Asperger's. The other women are mean and spiteful towards her for being different. I think it's more jealousy because she outshines them all. I find myself cheering her on. Because of you, I'm well aware of the difficulties people face with having Aspergers as well as Lupus. Thank you for making me a better person with this awareness. (Hugs) Indigo
Soldier on, Girlfriend! You do a lot more than I think I'd be able to do.
Oh, I cannot wait for my next trip to B&N now that I have my "teachers" discount card. Yep, they give that to homeschool "teachers" too. Rockin! --Cin
I have a dear friend who has CFS and it breaks my heart to see how the disease has changed her. I can only imagine. I think of it when I am upset because I have some minor cold, how would I react if something debilitating happened to me? I hope I would respond with the courage and good humor you show.Everyday you are an inspiration to me. We all have to play the hand we're dealt as best we can. Some of us do it with style and grace.My hat is off to you, Dawn.
LOve
Marti
And soldier on you do, Dawn. It's truly amazing to me all you get done for your family when you hurt so much and how upbeat you are. Big Hugs Chris
Hi Dawn,
Good for you! Everyone has something to deal with but your positive attitude seems like a real inspiration.
Best,
Marty
dang i missed the new csi! of course, this is because i'm back in the hospital!! :( all the tests they didn't do while i was in - the ones i had done as an outpatient - came back positive. my mesenteric artery is stenosed/blocked or something so my colon (ya, tmi) is not getting enough oxygen. i've been getting treated a little more nicely and surgeons & nurses & docs are coming in all hours of day/night. why couldn't they just do their jobs the right way/the first time? couldn't they be like house? lol why did i have to miss csi? was it good?? do tell my friend!!! will try to keep you updated ... no exciting and disgusting stories to tell like my last stay ...
I love your outlook on life... you are a wonderful person and I feel blessed to know you!!!!! Now let's have another cup of coffee and read some more journal entries... hope you have an awesome Friday!! Hugs,
Lisa : )
You are truly an inspiration to me!
Sending you many hugs and prayers!
Gretchen
I sure hope your feeling better. Linda
I did see the full moon last week and it was indeed beautiful. I am bummed for you... and I completely understand the pushing yourself sometimes. One of Mary's posters left this comment in a recent entry (I wrote it down because I loved it): we do what we need to do to get where we need to be. Your a mom. 'Nuff sed.
((((HUGS))))
Gillie
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