Monday, December 4, 2006

I Am Back...

Though, I was never really gone.  It just felt that way over the last few days.  Things were so very hectic.

Saturday am, my cousin came with her hubby and the four girls, 9, 5, 17 months, and 4 months.  We alternated between my house and Booga's.  First the men went and did some heavy lifting.  Then, my cousin, my mom and I went, and we separated, organized and threw stuff out.  We met my aunt there, who was up from Florida and Booga's son and wife.  Then, my hubby came and moved some furniture back to our house, beautiful cherry antique pieces, that Booga knew I loved and told everyone to be sure I got.  I will take pics soon.  I am thrilled with them, constant loving reminders of Booga and how special she was to me, to all of us.  Saturday afternoon, everyone cleared out by about 5:30pm, and we grabbed a bite with the kids. 

Sunday, I slept in...  Exhausted after all the emotional stuff of the day before, being at Booga's place.  The wake was 3-5 and 7-9.  The funeral home is 2 minutes from my house, and full of memories of many who were waked there - family and friends - over the years.  In between, sandwiches and drinks here at my house for 12 people.  Only the baby came, though.  My cousin left the other 3 girls with her mother in law.  Pumpkin didn't go to the wake, but Fuzzy and Hammer did.  They both had moments of crying, but were perfectly mannered gentlemen, and made us very proud as they talked to everyone.

Today, early start.  9am at the funeral home, final viewing, prayers, and good byes.  The start of an emotional day.  Then to the church across the street, my Catholic church that I made all my sacraments at and was married in.  My dad is usher there, too.  The music always gets me and my mom at the funeral masses.  Ave Maria is a real killer... instant tears.  My mom was a mess... although, Booga was not her mom, it didn't matter.  It was like losing her second mom... very hard.  Very hard for me to watch.  Hard for me too.  Then to the cemetery to be blown by 20 mph winds in 38 degrees... making it feel like 15 degrees!!!  The tears felt like they were freezing on my face.

My cousin and hubby had to bring the two little ones, but they were great.  Daddy kept them in the car during the cemetery.  My hubby and I only had Hammer with us today, the younger two were at school. 

We all went to lunch at our favorite local restaurant that Booga loved.  It was a really nice way to cap off a stressful and emotional week of the hospital, and then the wake and funeral.  Not to mention cleaning out Booga's apartment.  That was so hard.

So, I have been 'here' but not here, and now I am back.

Needing a rest, but knowing that time waits for no one and Christmas is arriving in EXACTLY 3 weeks!

be well,


libragem007 said...

I'm glad you're back Dawn.
Miss 'ya!

eml625 said...

I'm glad it's over for you...funerals are always difficult .

jckfrstross said...

it was so nice she gave you the furniture:) she sounded like a very lovely woman:) hope you have a good week:) are you ready for the tournament?


tenyearnap said...

Glad you are back and hope you can sneak in some restful time for yourself. Once again, sorry about your Booga. She does sound so wonderful.

luddie343 said...

When I'd play Ave Maria (Bach-Gonoud) no matter the occasions, I feel just as you did.  No tones of music come so obviously from the soul - and deserving of your Booga, on to her new life, and all who knew her I'm sure took something of value from knwoing her. Blessings xoxo

thebaabee said...

What a wonderful entry.  Your Booga had a heartfelt send off for her to meet Our Lord.  

Like Lundie said, the Ave Maria (no matter what the occassion) does the same to me.  It is such a spiritual song.  I love it.

How wonderful that you have some of your Booga's things to remember her.  I have my grandmother's curio cabinet.  When I was growing up she had tiny glass animals in it.  I would spend hours just looking at those animals.  My Grandma Upstairs (we had a two family house and she lived upstairs. Unlike my paternal grandparents who lived way across town.  They were Grandma and Grandpa Far Away.) left it to me when she passed away.  I also have a few other things that were hers and each piece makes me smile as I remember her with love.

Yes, Christmas is only three weeks away.  I am just about finished with my shopping.  did it all online this year.  My son decorated the outside of our home with lights.  Now just need to get the inside window lights up and the tree and decorations down from the attic.

Hugs, LuAnne

psychfun said...

Thinking of you during this sorrowful time.

lurkynat said...

my deepest Condolences with your loss of your grandmother. Welcome back!

lindaggeorge said...

It's a sad time of year to lose someone you love.

Two years ago we lost my cousin, who was Godfather to my son.

I always keep last year's Christmas Cards so I make sure I don't forget to send one to old friends that I may not have seen for years. That means that, if anyone dies during the year, I still have their last card.  We keep them and I have some 'special shelves' where I put them on display each year. Mike and I put them up and have a few moments remembering them. It's lovely to read their last written, loving messages.

Linda x.

randlprysock said...

I am so sorry about your loss of Booga.  I know this must be terribly hard and straining on you.  Blessings and prayers headed your way!!

coelha said...

Ooh...  Saying goodbye to someone you love and miss is always hard, and we dread it, but God always gives us strength to do it somehow.  I hope your Pumpkin Muffin is doing alright..  Take care, and find time for you today.  :)  Julie

rainbowmoonbeam2 said...

(((((((((Dawn)))))))))) You know you are very much in my thoughts.

Love ya~

sdoscher458 said...

Rest a bit dear if you can. Loosing someone is so stressful and it's because we miss them so much we are in pain for ourselves really not them they are in a much better place. Sandi

erarein63 said...

So sorry to hear of your loss of your beloved Booga.  I know how it is, I lost my Nanny in 1989, but it seems like yesterday, I miss her so much!  It is never easy is it?  Hope you are staying warm and safe in the cold weather.  De

ksgal3133 said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You have my prayers and many hugs!


cacklinrosie101 said...

Funerals are so exhausting emotionally.  You really do need a little break, Dawn.  I can't believe how often there are deaths between Christmas and Thanksgiving.  They are draining anyway but at this time of year just so much worse.  Hope you get a little R&R.  HUGS  Chris