Sunday, September 30, 2007

Nice Work If You Can Get It

First a shout out...

Brett Favre is totally amazing... Consecutive games record, Most Touchdowns record, you can't help but admire and respect the man.  He is a quarterback and football player for the ages.

Hubby and I going to watch the Giants play tonight.  The Jets were rousted by the Bills earlier, dang it.

Anyhow, yesterday, I didn't get to post an entry!  I was so busy... a good busy!  Kathy and J were visiting!  Yay!

J is getting so big!  He is in the pre-K class at his day care now, and very excited because he gets a box with his own crayons, scissors and, most importantly to J... GLUE!  LOL  Very exciting stuff when you are 4 1/2.  I remember those days for mine very well!

Kathy and I had a lovely time chatting the afternoon away, while Pumpkin and J played together at the park, with balls, sidewalk chalk, and video games. 

Hubby and the boys were at a Boy Scout trip until dinnertime.  They visited a place we had been as a family before called Old Rhinebeck Aerodrome .

They have a large collection  of WWI biplanes, and do shows every Saturday and Sunday.  The show differs depending on the day, last time we saw the Sunday show, so the boys were excited to see the Saturday version.   I will show pics in another entry.

Today was a quiet in the house day. 

I don't know if this is a lupus flare, MS flare, or what, but much like what happened in January, is starting up again for me.  I had a choking episode earlier this week, and tonight I had a horrible one.  I aspirated some meat and then the wracking coughs required to get it out, have injured my throat, making it sore, and my voice scratchy.  Trouble with swallowing is called dysphagia, and it can happen in both diseases.  :-/

The weakness is back, I stumbled several times this week, which drew my attention to it's arrival.  The numbness, tingling and unstability, in the legs, arms, and hands - all here.  The crushing fatigue?  Well, that's here in full force, too.

And, the frustration is here, that this crap is all starting again. 

I spoke with Hubby, and I may call the MS Center and see about them doing the MRI sooner.  Last time, I felt that by the time the tests were done, most of my symptoms had eased if not, stopped.  Maybe it would be better to do it sooner.  I don't know.   Decisions...

However, it could be worse!  So much worse... that I will limit todays pity party to just the tears I shed earlier, after my choking episode.  Time to focus on what I can do.  And, on the many blessings I have in my life.

Speaking of blessings, I have met many wonderful people who inspire me in J-Land.  There are two I would like to mention - Kim, at I shaved my legs for this? and Irene at,  Meet Me At The Breakfast Table , are warriors extraordinaire, fighting the Big C.  Please, go visit them, and give them some encouraging words today.

be well,

Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Big Bang Theory - Check it out!

This is a peek at a new show that just premiered this week called 'The Big Bang Theory'.

It was great and this video explains it all...

Needless to say, my son, Hammer, not only got all the physics jokes, he relates to them being different and struggling.  Of course, Hammer is a lot better off than these guys!

Super high IQ's or low IQ's - the world can be a tough place to maneuver, especially socially.

I hope you will watch the show sometime!

be well,

It Had To Be You

This graphic is perfect because suddenly... I can't sleep.  For the last three was all I wanted to do, now, tonight... I can't.  <<sigh>> Could be worse!

Instead, I will meme!

I found this browsing on technorati, and I could not resist!  I know a few of you out there may jump in and play with this one! 

Habits or Quirks of Your Significant Other (that may or may not get on your nerves)

It is just too good to pass up isn't it?

1.     Hubby loses things.  Constantly.  It is beyond it being a joke.  The man cannot keep track of his crap.  Everything from his keys, Blackberry, money, wallet, papers from work, Boy Scout stuff, even the kids (ha), you name it - he has missplaced it.

2.     Hubby has to kick his feet out of the end of the bed, completely destroying the way the bed is made, each and every night.  Ugh.

3.     Hubby will check and double check packaging to be sure there is no indication that it was ever opened.  Especially, drinks... you should see him with Snapple bottles.  OMG.  If there is a slight tear in the plastic, he won't buy it. 

4.     Hubby will crank up the stereo in the truck for a great song, far beyond the volume I would ever go, and then not turn it down OR turn off the radio.  Unsuspecting me will get in in the am with the kids and WHAMMO!!!!  Your eardrums blown in 2 seconds... and thank you Hubby, we are all really awake now.  He does this every few months.  At least.  Sometimes, more.

5.     Hubby will over fill cups to the brim with whatever liquid it is he is drinking.  His childhood friends do the same thing... quirky huh?  He has gotten better with that one over the years, though.

Well, that is all I can think of right now.  I am sure tomorrow after he reads this entry, he will wish he had a blog to list mine, but he doesn't, so, too bad.  LOL

I love you, honey!!!

If you decide to play along, please let me know!

be well,


So, how about a meme?  It's been a while...

10 Things that you have been putting off!

1.     Pap smear.  I know... I know.. not good.  You aren't going to like the next one either.

2.     Mammogram.  I know... You see, when you live your life going from doctor to doctor, because of a particular illness, you tend to get sloppy with the rest of your healthcare.  No excuse, but it happens.

3.     Starting to make jewelry again.

4.     Poetry writing.

5.     Writing in my book.

6.     Shaving my legs.  Sorry, I know, tmi, but there it is.

7.     Transferring pics from computer to cd.

8.     Putting hard copy pics into albums.  I keep saying this is going to be my empty nest project when the kids are all at college.  LOL

9.     Getting a baby gift for my neighbor's new baby.

10.    Christmas shopping.  Yes, I am usually mostly done by now.  Dang it.

Okie dokie... It's your turn, what have you been procrastinating about? 

be well,

Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday it is...

1.     My kids.  Funny and kind and smart... they are my world.

2.     Coffee.  Yep, back near the top!

3.     The K's.  Kathy and Karol, thank you for being you and always being there for me.

4.     My dad.  Cooking, picking up the kids, dropping off the kids, he is a huge help always.

5.     My mom.  Cleaning, being my friend, often our savior; I can't thank you enough.

6.     J-Land.  Your kindness and support means so much to me.

7.     My Email Loopies.  I think it is about 5 years now that we have all been together, between the old board and email.  Thank you.

8.     My dog and cats.  Last, but far from least... they are so comforting. 

I hope this entry finds everyone having a great Thursday! 

Hammer and I are having a quiet day at home.  No errands to run.  Grandpa will be taking Hammer for a haircut later, that is all that is on the agenda. 

The new CSI will be on tonight, I am looking forward to seeing that! 

be well,

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Wheel in the Sky


And, of course, I did it to myself... but what's a mother to do?  Things need to get cleaned, organized, thrown out, put away etc.  And, much of this was overdue.

So, then I pay.  I feel like a Mack truck hit me (or Peterbilt, Cin... doesn't matter) and then backed up to check I was down good.  <sigh>

Yet, yesterday I got Hammer to his appointment with the neuro-psych counselor that handles his Asperger's Care and meds.  And, we stopped at Starbuck's for a snack, and some 'just us' time.  And, we hit Barnes & Noble for a little stroll, too, and it was a fruitful visit.  Got a few good books for Hammer for school.

Tonight, Hubby took Hammer to his teen group, and now they are all at Boy Scouts together.   Pumpkin and Fuzzy headed over at about 7:30pm.   They should all be home about 9:15pm. 

I just want to mention that although it is hard to deal with feeling like crap, especially when you have to push yourself to do things, I have always tried to not let it make me cranky or bitter.

There are so many people out there in the world who have had bad or unfortunate things happen to them.  I have had my share, too.  I chose to focus on my blessings.  I chose not to allow myself to be defined by the negative things, not to allow bitterness to overcome me.  I chose the joy.  I chose the love.  Those are the things I want to be remembered for and defined by in my life. 

It doesn't mean that it isn't hard sometimes.  It doesn't mean that I don't get frustrated, because I do.  Being too fatigued to take a shower, is a sad state to be in, and it makes me mad sometimes.  Having to wait a half hour for my morning meds and a cup of coffee to kick in before putting my hair up in a pony tail, can really make me want to scream... but I don't.

I am so blessed to have 3 wonderful kids.  They keep me focused on the joy, on the happiness. 

That is why I soldier on as best I can, and sometimes that means succumbing to the need to just sleep and rest, so I can 'Carpe Diem' another day real soon.

be well,

Ps... did you see the full moon tonight?  It is beautiful...


Monday, September 24, 2007

Hooked on Feeling

Did you ever notice how some things just make you feel good?

For me today, it is a bologna sandwich on wheat toast. 

Maybe because it harkens back to my childhood when things were much simpler, I don't know... but it just made me feel good to have this sandwich today.

I am a bit sore from all of my 'organizing' this weekend.  However, I do have a more organized house, so that is worth it!  Oh man, I am turning into my mother!  Help!  lol  Just kidding, Mom!

Hammer and I just took a break to play Space Invaders together for a bit!  Since the playroom was cleaned and reorganized, the Nintendo 64 can be used easily.  Certain older games are just 'fun', you know?  We laughed together... I am so horrible, and he is so good.  Although, Hubby is the all-time Space Invader champ in the house! 

Kathy and I finally emailed yesterday after about 2 weeks of not!  She really has her hands full, working full-time, wife, mommy to sweet 4 year old J, and going to school for her Master's and certification as Teacher of the Blind and Visually Impaired. 

This semester, I believe she finishes her certification credits, and then she has about 4 or 5 more classes to complete the Masters.  By December 2008, I think she will be done.  Since she works for the state, it means a pay increase, also, when completed.  Great incentive.  :-)

It is just so hard for us to find time to chat, our schedules clash at this point.  However, we have plans in place for this Saturday!  I cannot wait!  I miss her so much.  She is my rock in ways that Hubby is not... my Sister of my Heart. 

Karol, my sweet cousin, who is also more sister-like to me, is also off my radar, as she is back to work close to full-time, and is busy with her kids, too. 

Wow... Karol just called as I am typing this!  Too funny!

We just had a great speed conversation!  LOL  Karol needed some mom to mom info on a video game, and I just happened to have had it, since the kids bought a version of the game this weekend.  Another funny coincidence! 

Oh how I wish both my K's lived close enough to 'pop' over to see each other during the week. :(

Time to do the homework rally, as Fuzzy and Pumpkin will be heading in the door any minute!

be well,

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Sunday, September 23, 2007

Weekend Assignment #184 From the Top of Mount TBR (To be read)

From the Blogfather, John Scalzi, at By The Way , comes this assignment that I couldn't pass up!  It's all about books! 
Books and coffee... next to family, they are my loves!
Weekend Assigment #184: From the Top of Mount TBR

Anyone who does a lot of reading know about "Mount TBR": That's the pile of books you have just waiting To Be Read -- the books you want to get to, but haven't yet. This brings us to this week's Weekend Assignment:

Weekend Assignment #184: What books do you want to read - but haven't yet? These could be new books, classic books you've just not gotten around to, books you've bought but haven't cracked the spines of, or a book you want to get but for some reason haven't. The salient characteristic is that you want to read it, but just haven't yet.
Rather than answer... I have taken pictures, just like John did!
This pile are mostly waiting to be read.  There are probably 4 or 5 that I did read mixed in.  They are piled on the floor next to my nightstand. 
I didn't take a picture of my nightstand, but that has my Lupus and RA books, plus a Latin book I like to reread, and a book of affirmations.
Here is another pile of books, in a bin next to my dresser.  These are books I have read but want to keep to reread them again at some point.

This last pile of books in the bedroom are basically just two authors, Jim Butcher and Jeff Shaara.  Sorry it is fuzzy... not sure why.  I noticed there is also a Steve Berry and a John Sauls on the pile, too.

Extra credit: Do you usually prefer the book or the movie?

I prefer the book 99.9% of times.  There have been a few times that movie has helped me to appreciate certain aspects of a book more, like in the case of Harry Potter.  Seeing the Quidditch game come to life on the big screen helped me understand it much better. 

Also, I agree with John, my enjoyment of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy was totally enhanced by the movie.  Tolkein is obscure, the movie brought it to life and I was able to go back and read the books because I wanted to, not because I had to for college!  LOL

FYI -  Here are the rest of our 'book nooks'!

The playroom which has mostly homeschooling, or non-fiction, lots of stuff all the kids can use for reports and what not.

This next area are the bins on my china cabinet with all the current homeschooling books.

This is Pumpkin's book case, of books for pleasure reading.  It doesn't include a huge bin next to her bed with her current 'faves'.

And, here are Hammer and Fuzzy's books.  Not as neat as their sister's, it is hard with twice as many though, to be fair.  The boys have a good amount of non-fiction in their room, too.  They each enjoy reading educational things for fun, as well as fiction.

So, there ya have it!  Dawn's Book Bonanza!  We always tell friends to check with us if their kids need books on a particular subject, usually we have it!  LOL

be well,

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Saturday, September 22, 2007

Rock Lobster

Happy Caturday to all!

All of this entry's cat pics from are relating to movies!  Tonight, Hubby and I are going to watch Martin Scorcese's 'The Departed', his mob flick from 2006 that was nominated for an Oscar.  I tivo'd it last weekend, and we are just getting to it now!

Also for your enjoyment, another set of questions from the Interview Meme, from Tracey at in one*hip*mama's head .

1.  You've been given an all-expenses paid, weekend trip to see your favorite sports team play.  you will do a meet & greet with the team before the game, take a tour of the locker room, have dinner with the team, sit in "the box" with the owners, and will be utterly spoiled (including your accommodations, which will likely be the waldorf=astoria).  the spoiler is that you are only allowed to bring 3 other people with you.  who do you bring and why?

You know how to create a fight in my house before I even started to answer it!  We are a family of 5.  And, so often we get tickets for only 4, and it sucks.  So, I guess this would be one of those times.  I would bring Hubby and the boys, because even though, Pumpkin would love to go, she has the least attachment to any professional sport team.  If I had to bring adults only, I would bring my Hubby, my mom and my dad!

2.  There is a new treatment available that will cure every last one of your aches and pains -- including decimating your tumor -- permanently.  the danger is that you might lose any memories you have from before the treatment.  do you take the risk to have a pain free, healthy life?

No.  No way.  My memories are too important to me, and they are the basis for ones emotional connections.  I'll pass!

3.  You and i both read vince flynn novels.  (the next is available october 30, btw)  what keeps you coming back for more?

Hmmm.... intelligent characters, plausible scenarios, and topical story lines!  I am actually a book behind on Flynn!  How did that happen!  Yikes!

4.  Do you ever find yourself yelling at the television during a football game?  if so, what does your family think of this? 

Well, since all of us adults yell at the tv screen, they seem to think I am perfectly normal!  Poor kids... they do it, too!

5.  Starbucks contacts you via email and requests permission to insert an ad on your journal site -- free of charge.  do you let them?

No.  They can afford to pay me for the privilege!!!  And, they are not necessarily my fave.  Just one of many coffees I appreciate, I will not show favoritism for free!  For a price maybe, but NOT for free!  LOL

I love the Highlander.  I am going to get it on DVD soon to watch with the boys, I think! 

The weathermen are big fat lying pants liars.  Today was supposed to be clear, sunny, and a gorgeous day!  Instead it was grey, cloudy and drizzling on and off for most of the day.  Yuck!

We grabbed a bite for dinner at Houlihan's, where we got a free entree for Hubby's birthday.  Yummy!  Then, we gathered up the PS2, which the kids never play anymore, and the GameCube, which they never play because they play the games on the Wii now, and ALL the games that went with the PS2 and sold them back to GameStop. 

I love that they do that!  Then, the kids promptly spent their newfound bounty of store credit on new games to play on the Wii, the PSP or the Nintendo DS.  They are happy. 

They have also been informed to stay this happy until Christmas.  LOL 

I was able to do a bunch of organizing and packing up of school stuff and other 'things to save for posterity' into plastic bins for storage.  :-)  Tomorrow, I plan to do some more organizing and clean up.  Body willing.  lol

Have a great Catuday night!

be well,


Friday, September 21, 2007

Private Idaho

More, Interview Meme, better late than never... these questions are from the gal over at Deployment Journal, who does not use her name, so I can't give it! 

Anyhoo... great questions!

1. What made you start your journal?
I started my journal because I love to write, and I wanted to share my experiences as a mom dealing with Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis.  I hoped that by sharing my ups and downs coping with the chronic fatigue and pain, it would help others.  I also homeschool my son with Asperger's Syndrome.  Another experience that as I share it, may help a reader out there!
2. If your journal had no readers, would you still write?
Yes, I would, because, I need and love to write.  Things get clearer and easier to cope with as you put them in words, either in ink or on a computer screen.
3. If you could give one gift (the same gift, and it doesn't have to be material) to every person you met, what gift would you choose?
The gift of finding hope, that 'thing with feathers', no matter how bad your life's situation may be. (quoted part with thanks to Emily Dickinson)
4. What was your biggest fear when you were growing up?
My biggest fear was that something bad would happen to my parents.  I still fear that.  I cannot imagine my life without them.
5. What is one thing you hope to accomplish in your lifetime, that will be quite a challenge?
I was going to say just raising the kids, because it can be so hard with all the 'chronic crap' I have to deal with but, it is my pleasure and joy to do that, and my whole reason for living.  So, instead I will say writing a book and getting published.  I am only in the writing phase, which is hard enough!  LOL
That was fun...
So, the kids have DogBoy here to play.  Pumpkin has dance class soon.  Not much planned for this weekend, which is nice! 
be well,

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday time!

1.     Hubby.  I gave him a card that said, 'Honey, I love you. I really do.'  And, on the inside it said, 'Do you think I'd put up with all your nonsense if I didn't?'  Yep.  I do.  I love him, he is my soul mate, and he makes me nuts.  That about sums it all up doesn't it?

2.     The kids.  Who for the last two days have been very caring, helpful, appreciative and kind.  I am hoping we can string together more than just the last 48 hours... but I am grateful for the effort they have put in thus far.

3.     Band-Aids with the medicine built in.  Genius, I tell you.  Definitely one of those 'feed the mayo to the tuna' thinking out of the box type of ideas. 

As an aside...  I got a splinter last Friday from a wicker basket that I use in my dining room for homeschool supplies/books.  I yanked it out.  Saturday, it swelled and looked irritated and I could see there was another piece still in there, and I cut it out.  After that, it felt fine. 

Until last night.  I realized there was a hard little spot where the splinter was and it was sore.  I cut it out, and sure enough, more splinter.  Now, there is NO splinter left, but a big hole in my thumb.  Ugh.  And, I am soooo prone to infection, due to the meds I am on for the lupus/ra. 

Thus, the band aid shout out.  Much easier when it is on me to just slap the band aid on with the medicine built in... for the kids, I put the bacitracin on with a q-tip, then the band aid... yada yada.

4.     Books/Computer.  My distractions in life, that provide me with a measure of escape equal to what my psyche needs on any given day. 

5.     Coffee.  Mmmmm.  Mmmmm.  Good. 

6.     John Frieda Leave in Conditioning Spray for my hair.  It is the third one I have tried in as many weeks, and it is really great!  My hair has been nice and soft, and doesn't look dry or flyaway at all!  Yay!  Sometimes, it is something small like this that really makes you smile, you know?


In other news, Hammer loved the new Aspie Teen Group that he started last night!  This 10 week module is going to focus on, relationships, sex (or not), and hygiene.  All great subjects on the minds of all teen boys, to some extent at age 15, no matter their maturity or if they are Aspie's or not. 

Also, Fuzzy and Hammer have been promoted to First Class Scout, actually as of last month, but they were informed last night.  Fuzzy was appointed assistant patrol leader by his friend, Russ, who is the newly elected patrol leader.  Fuzzy is also still Den Chief to his Weebelo group, now Weebelo 2's. 

Tomorrow, will be the very first quizzes of the year for Fuzzy and Pumpkin at school.  They both are ready and looking forward to it!  Both have been coming home very enthused about school, their teachers, and their upcoming assignments! 

In fact, you may remember (if you have been reading me since 2005), that in 5th grade Fuzzy did a big country report on Canada.  Each month he had to complete another phase of the report and then at the end of the year they have a big Around the World in 180 Days Travel Expo, and all the parents go and see what the kids have done.  The kids also make posters, displays and bring food on that day too.

Pumpkin, now in 5th grade, has just chosen the country for her report.  She wanted to be different, so she chose Nepal!  The country of Mount Everest!  I am so proud of her!  She definitely follows the beat of her own drummer, and is fearless in wanting to stand out from her peers.  A few thought her strange, not wanting to do something more 'common', like Italy, Germany, etc.  Yay for Pumpkin for standing her ground!  I can only hope it continues as the teen years are looming close ahead!

Dinner tonight was very nice for Hubby's birthday.  He had a great steak, and got a yummy dessert for free from the Longhorn!  The kids gave Hubby Madden 2007 for the Wii, but we will actually pick it up this weekend. 

My birthday is 2 months and 2 days away, and I, too, will be turning 42.  Ugh.  Here is a scarier thought though...

In 3 months and 5 days it will be CHRISTMAS!   ACK!  Must start shopping!  lol

be well,

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Ever the Same

Today is Hubby's birthday.

He has turned this age: Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything 

All you Doug Adam's fans will immediately know that he turned 42 today.

Tonight, we will head out to dinner with my parents and the kids, probably to the Longhorn Steakhouse.  Close to home and great steaks... right up Hubby's alley.

I am tired.  Slept late... still tired... that is the curse of fatigue.  Ugh. 

In other news, the Yankees are only  1 1/2 games out of first place!  Woohoo!  I love it when they peak at the end of the season and going into the playoffs... that is the best scenario for yet another World Series win and ring to add to the other 26!  Wooohoooo!

I will be back later... gotta go...

be well,


Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I Get Knocked Down... (but I get up again!)

Attack of the Killer Kermit! 

Today was a jammie day, not so much by choice, but it really had to be.  I was thrilled that I didn't have to leave the house.  Hubby drove the kids to school, at my request, and I slept in. 

My dad was still off today, and my mom came home early, so they took Hammer out to lunch with them. 

Boy Scouts tonight, and Hammer started a new group for Teens with Asperger's Syndrome.  He was looking forward to it.  All boy Aspie's getting together with a therapist and assistants to discuss navigating all the different issues of the teen world.  Hard enough for normal teens, doubly so for Aspie's.  I am excited to hear how it went, but he is going directly from there to Scouts.

Thank you for all your support.  Living with rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, pain, the uncertainty of this tumor, my still wacky and painful symptoms, and just general life has been challenging of late.  A few cups of coffee did help me get thru though... at least today.

There are probably loads of mom's who have days like I did yesterday, on top of other busy days, that can cope and push through it all.  I can't.  And, having here to blow off steam about it and get my thoughts sorted out in front of me in black and white (or green and white, as the case may be), is very helpful. 

Are things more 'figured out' than yesterday?  Not really, but I am sitting here eating a piece of chocolate cake, in my jammies, with Libby, and no pressure to do anything for the rest of the evening, which is good for me, for today.

One step at a time, as they say.

be well,

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

It's the End of the World

Today was a day.

Up at 5:45am, wake up for work.  Go back to sleep.

Up at 7am, wake kids for school.  Get dressed.  Make 2 lunches, get drinks for breakfast and some sort of breakfast snack for kids.  Let dog out, in, give water and biscuit.

Drink a cup of coffee.  Bring kids to school.  Come back home.  Get Hammer settled for the am.  Straighten bathroom.  Check email.  Drink coffee.

Dad is off for the day, let dad feed dog, go to breakfast at a favorite diner. Go to Linens and Things, return 4 curtain rods for mom.  Get mom credit on back ordered curtains that didn't go through.  Shop.  Get 4 right sized curtain rods, 2 sheers for my living room to add to the two I had already.  Grab a few odds and ends. 

Go to Borders.  Browse.  Get Hammer and myself a book, via gift card.

Go back home.  Drop Hammer off to tackle history lesson via computer.  Back out with dad, to price compare kitchen appliances.  Go to 2 different stores.  Browse, get prices.  Go back home.

Make lunch, fold load of laundry.  Email back and forth with Hubby a bit about some home issues.  Eat lunch.  Preview a spanish program for Hammer to use.  Watch Hammer try it out for a bit. 

Fuzzy and Pumpkin arrive.  Chat about each of their days.  Help Pumpkin with homework.  Review homework.  Bring Hammer to Orthodontist.  Pumpkin and Fuzzy came for 'fun'.  Meanwhile, dad picked up Hubby, so I didn't have to or he didn't have to walk a 1/2 mile.  Drive home.

Check snail mail, read, talk to Hubby.  Eat dinner that dad cooked.  Type and print out Boy Scout flyer for an upcoming trip to see an airshow.   Hubby makes changes.  Reprint.  Head to Staples for Hubby to make color copies (I added a color WWI plane picture).  Pumpkin and Fuzzy are in tow, get Pumpkin a new binder to help her better organize, this takes 30 minutes of browsing and decision making.  Return home.

Change into pj's.  Sit down in a comfy chair for the first time all day.

During the last half of day, from after school on, I negotiated fights and listened to much whining about what my kids wanted, needed, didn't get, wished they had, or what any particular one thought should be done differently.  I was told I was a 'lame' parent.  And, I didn't understand.

Shortly after sitting down in my comfy chair, upon hearing yet ANOTHER complaint, and having yet ANOTHER curve ball thrown at me of some sort, I lost it and started to cry. 

I didn't stop for about an hour, on and off. 

Hammer apologized, confused.

Pumpkin apologized, and wanted to discuss some issues, and tried very hard to make me not upset.

Fuzzy apologized, knowing he hurt me, too, but didn't want to talk.

Hubby - well, I was hoping for an apology, and I may get one, but basically he just let me run out of tears, let the 1/2 of vicodin start to work on my sore EVERYTHING, and waited as I got into the Big Brother finale that I had been waiting to watch.  Then, we watched some other tv, and he fell asleep.

I am overtired.  I am going to go to bed now, probably the first 'real' thing I will do for myself today.

I am frustrated.  I am angry.  I am sad.  I want everyone to be happy.  I do my best to do that in the ways that I can help to achieve it.   Things have not been easy lately.  There have been some financial issues/surprises and snafus.  This year has been horrible healthwise for me and for Hubby. 

Everytime I think the 'bad' stuff is over - bam, something else, some unpleasant surprise (ie; Uncle Larry's passing, money crap), seems to pop up. 

The hardest part is that 'I' cannot control any of it.  As a stay at home mom, my focus is here.  And, yet, even that seems to be a mess at the moment, and I am a loss.

I just hope that tears I am shedding now, will be the last for a while, and tomorrow, will be a new, better, happier day.

be well,

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Monday, September 17, 2007

You're So Vain (a meme!)

I can't think... so meme-ing it is today.
This is the Months Meme.
The rules:

1. Pick your birth month, below.
2. Italic anything that does not apply to you.
3. Bold the five-ten that best apply to you.
4. Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months underneath.
NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

Not bad... ;-)  Your turn... I tag the universe.

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.
FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive toothers. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.
APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.
MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves tobe alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.
DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Come play along!

be well,

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Melt with You

Hey there... Red Robin makes a really good burger and fries!  We had a great time with our friends, Ilene and Bob, and the kids. 
I have 2 more sets of Interview Meme questions to share... here they are for your perusal!
From Katie at Turning The Other Cheek .
1. What If and (OMG it's a BIG) What if, coffee didn't exist. What would you have takes it's place and how would you promote it?
I guess I would go with black tea, and I guess I would promote it the same, because if coffee didn't exist, we wouldn't know any better!  lol

2. If you could trade places with your spouse - What would you do differently?
I am guessing you mean in the future, or daily, what would I do different than Hubby, not looking to the past.  Well, nothing!  He is a great dad and Hubby, I would just listen to me more the first time.  It would save us all some time.  lol

3. This one I have to admit, I've used before, but need to ask - If Calgon could take you away, where would it take you and with whom (one person only - limited space available)?
It would take me to a suite in Caesar's Pocono Palace (couples only resort) with Hubby, one of the Cleopatra rooms with the jacuzzi and pool in the room, which is where we spent 5 days for our 10th Anniversary.  Yummy!

4. If "Poof" you were made into a food and it was your friends choice as to what food you would become - What do you think they would make you and why?
French Fries because they are fun to eat and everybody loves them!!! LOL

5. Your now the lead singer of a band - What's the name of your band and what kind of music would be played?
The name of the band would be Carpe Noctem or Seize the Night, and they would play a mix of 80's pop, hair band music, and classic rock! 
Next from Joanne at Joann's Weight Loss Journey .
If you could be taller or shorter, which would you choose and why??
Taller!  So, then I would be thinner!  LOL
If you didn't ever have to work again, where would you prefer to live.... the City, Beach, Mountains, or Desert?
It would be a toss up between the mountains and the beach.  I love both, but either would probably be in the Northeast, I would still want all 4 seasons.
If you were suddenly banished from the United States forever, what country would you choose to live in??
Canada, after all, it is like our 51st state!  Maybe near St. John or Halifax, beautiful, and very english, don't have to worry about that French thing as much!  LOL
What's the best book you've ever read, did it have any affect on your life?? 
Oh my, I have read so many wonderful books, but mostly fiction or educational.  I cannot pick ANY one book and say it had an affect on my life.  They all do, as they provide, knowledge, enjoyment, escape and often distraction from pain. 
What was the scariest day of your life??
That would be the few hours before my daughter was born.  Knowing that the baby wasn't moving, and thinking I had gotten to full term and something horrible happened, it was awful.  Until, they got her out, and she was okay... it was a harrowing experience.  They confirmed my fears when I got to the hospital, she was almost out of amniotic fluid, and they rushed me in for a c-section, early.  If I hadn't realized she was too quiet that night, she would have died within the next several hours.  All is well, that ended well though!
That is that!  Have a great Sunday!
be well,
ps... AOL is cranky... took me 15 times to get a graphic up!  Yikes!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Gimme Three Steps

Happy Caturday!  I love this picture because my two cats do this all the time to each other!

And now for something completely different....  a meme!  lol

There is a huge flood headed to your house, the National Guard is at your door and you have 5 minutes to grab 10 things.  All the people, animals, medicines, and clothes are already in the amphibious rescue vehicle - you run into the house...

What 10 things do you get?

1.   Laptop.  duh (it has tons of pics on it, too)
2.   Wedding album
3.   Keurig coffee maker & k-cups
4.   My album holding cd's of pics of the kids
5.   Harry Potter books (hey, most are first editions!)
6.   My giant wedding portrait in the living room
7.  The giant portrait of the 3 kids from the cruise 2 years ago, also hanging in the living room
8.   My jewelry box (with my wedding rings, and rings from my grandma, mom etc)
9.   My notebook with all materials/notes for the book I am writing
10.   Our Bose stereo/cd player

Okay, your turn!  Remember, your kids have all they need, and so do the pets, this is about the 'extras' not the essentials.  I assumed my kids all had their fave stuffed animals, too. 

I hope you all have a great caturday!

Tonight we are trying   Red Robin just like Donna from  This and that, and hockey! did last night!  Isn't that a funny coincidence?

be well,

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Friday, September 14, 2007

Hot for Teacher (not)

Today was one of those mornings, too!  Hubby forgot to cover books, and it sent Fuzzy into a tailspin, he has been in and out of the nurses office all day, trying to get me to come pick him up.
I am sure to get the worst mother of the day award, because I haven't done it.  He needs to learn to cope when things go wrong. 
So, I promised more Interview Meme Questions and here they are for your enjoyment!  This has been a lot of fun! 
Questions from Dawn at Beneath the Surface .
1. What do you consider to be the biggest problem with the American public schools?
That is a great question!  I think the biggest problem is that schools now want to 'teach to the test', rather than worrying about helping individual children learning the best way they can. 
2. If you could change one personality trait about your hubby what would it be and why?
Oh wow... that's a loaded question, huh?  I would only change that he leaves his socks, shoes, and pants on the floor, and doesn't put them away.  The rest is perfection.
3. How would you describe yourself to someone whose never met you?
A chubby, 40 something, blonde haired, blue eyed, happy mommy!
4. If you were a different person and met you, as you are now, do you think you as the other person and you, as you are, would be friends?  (Basically, translated would you be friend's with yourself?)
Yes!  I like myself, and I think I am likeable!  I try to be a good friend, too!
5. How did Libby come to be a part of your family?
Hubby and I were picking up a pair of glasses at the Pearle Express on a highway near us.  We had been talking about getting a dog at some point within the next year, and as we left, I noticed the sign for Puppies, at the building next door.  
We walked over and started looking at the dogs.  We knew we wanted a lab, and they had two a chocolate and a yellow lab.  The chocolate was a boy, and the yellow a girl, and we wanted a female, and truth be told, we preferred a yellow lab.  The lighter the lab, the better the temperment with kids, as a rule of thumb, although all labs are generally great with kids.
We were talking to the manager about the yellow lab, when they put food down into the pen with the puppies.  As the yellow lab tried to eat, a mean German Shepherd puppy, kept growling and snapping at her, not letting her eat.  That did it, mommy instinct kicked in (Pumpkin had just turned 5, and I had no more babies), and as my Hubby haggled over price, I took the puppy into the area to hold her.
Hubby was told that the final price had to be done with the owner, tomorrow.  He told me to leave the puppy and we would come back tomorrow.  I was devasted!!!  I begged the lady in the store to keep her away from the German Shepherd, and was a wreck!  I cried all the way home!!!
The next morning, we went to the store and we came home with Liberty, her name a tribute to 9/11.  Her birthday is 11/26/2001.  4 days after my birthday!  She came home to us, on 2/9/2002.  And, as they say, the rest is history!  Libby is our family!
And the next set from Dan at The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind II .
Here are your questions...  Sorry if someone's already asked any of these. 

1.   What are some of the greatest challenges faced by both parents and students of homeschooling?
I can't speak for all homeschoolers, but for me, as a parent I need to be sure that my son is getting what he needs, as well as what he requires to gain entrance into the college of his choice, that will suit his desired profession. 

However, a personal challenge is dealing with the people who have preconceived notions of homeschoolers.  In northern NJ, where I am, there are extremely few homeschoolers.  The only others I was able to locate nearby were still 40 minutes away, and they homeschooled for religious reasons, which is one of the 'assumptions' people make and made about me.  The other assumption is that you hate public school, hate teachers, or are some kind of radical protestor of sorts.  Ugh. 

Nope, I am just a mom, doing what was best for one of my children.  It was not something that would be best for the other two, just Hammer. 

I don't know if I answered your question...but there ya go.

2.   So, is New Jersey really the toxic cesspool of nuclear waste and refineries that we out here in America have been led to believe?

Ahhh... one of my personal pet peeves, the 'perception' of New Jersey.  No, it isn't.  I live on a beautful tree lined street, in a town that has won a national tree something or other award!  We have great parks and zoos.  And, we are called the Garden State for a reason!  The southern and western sections of New Jersey are mostly produce farms! 

The best part of New Jersey though, is the shore.  Our beaches are fabulous!  Especially, the pearls of NJ, Wildwood Crest and Cape May.  People come from Canada and Europe to summer there!  Pretty amazing, huh? 

Yes, the Port Newark area is full of oil refineries, and yes, you fly into a really industrial yucky area at Newark Airport, but we keep everything altogether in that area.  lol  I guess you can tell that I really love our state! 

3.   Now, you're quite the coffee guzzler.  Do you remember your very first cup of coffee? 

Great question.  No, but I was drinking coffee, black, no sugar, by the time I was about 5, because that is how my mom drank it!  LOL

4.   You've got five years to make the world absolutely perfect, where do you start?    

Well, there's a question with a quick simple answer!  NOT.  Okay, where would I start.  Dan, this is so hard.  I think I would start with pharmaceutical companies.  They are making ridiculous money, giving multi million dollar bonuses each year to executives.  I would require them to do a percentage of medicines 'pro bono', and get the children and elderly of the world their meds and vaccinations.   That is where I would start.  Unfortunately, my mind is too mushy to go further on this question.
5.   If you were a criminal mastermind, how would you get Superman out of the way so you could rob that bank you've always wanted to?

That's easy.  Tell Clark to meet Lois in hotel room, pop open the kryptonite once he gets there.  C'mon, even Superman thinks with the little head sometimes.  LOL

Wow, those were mostly hard, Dan!  I still had fun, and I am looking forward to more questions in a few days from Gaz and maybe Paul!

My hands are still really sore and swollen but I think the rest of me is somewhat better today!  I am not planning on doing anything much, so that should help!

TGIF and I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Football games to watch... yay!

be well,