Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Last question group until more arrive!

Comment from: sbrlzc, Susan
Ok... I'll play.

1) What is your favorite food and why?

I don't have just one favorite food!  LOL  It's kind of like books for me, there are too many really good ones to single anything out.

I love pasta and homemade sauce.  My dad was 1/2 Italian and Italian foods, good homemade Italian foods were real big in my house while growing up.  I never even tasted "jar" spaghetti sauce until I was at a friend's at 16 years old!  I love a good Filet Mignon, preferrably with Bernaise Sauce.  Lobster Tail is another favorite and of course, with the drawn butter!  My favorite snack food is probably potato chips.  It is a historical family addiction, at least four generations and, if you count my kids!  The one food I could always eat when I was pregnant no matter how sick I was, no matter how lousy I felt with nausea was a McDonald's Quarter Pounder with Cheese and fries.  My hubby always said it was proof of pregnancy and not some other kind of illness!!!  :-D

2) What's the farthest you have ever been from home? (Where did you go?)

I suppose that would be St. Maarten on the Carribean Cruise we just took in April!  However, the furthest I have been from home in the U.S. would be Minnesota.  My grandma lived their until she passed and I still have an uncle, aunt and two cousins there.  The exact furthest point was probably International Falls, MN.  WAY up north!  My family is in the Minneapolis suburbs.


the world as i know it

And here we go with some more...

Comment from: jouell3935, Jodi
Hey... sorry I am late in coming....Here I go:

There are no latecomers, Jodi! :-D

1. What would you say is your biggest strength? weakness?

I would have to say that they are the same thing, and that is not a cop out!  It would be my sensitivity to others around me.  I am a good listener and a good friend and I am usually very astute at helping my family and friends at opening up and coping in tough situations.  It is also a weakness because I can often take others negativity too personal and internalize it.  The next thing you know, I am in a bad mood or crying because someone around me is feeling so badly.  It is also hard to keep perspective sometimes when you are "feeling" so much.  I hope that makes some sense.

2. Is there anything you wish you had said to someone, past or present? If given the chance would you now?

Wow.  Loaded question.  Yes.  Many people that I let hurt me when I was younger.  I wish I could tell them now that I was stupid then to allow myself to be hurt by them.  I had more power than I knew, it took more experience and maturity to figure that out.  But basically, I have few regrets, few things I didn't say!  I am pretty vocal, yup, as my hubby would say "a BIG communicator".

I would also love to have a moment with two relatives of mine that have passed.  I would love to tell my grandma and my great aunt just how much I appreciate to this day, how much they loved me,  and all the special things, little and big, that we shared.

I am a huge believer in something that I cannot take credit for.  As per John Edwards, spiritual medium/psychic:

 "Communicate, Appreciate and Validate, your loved ones now, then you won't be seeking to do so later."

3. Who( or what) are your biggest influences in your life?

Another great question!  I would have to say first, my kids are the biggest influence in my life right now.  All decisions come from the concern for their well-being.  That is how I ended up a stay at home mom.  I also became a homeschooler for my eldest when that revealed itself to be the best thing for him.  In all ways, every day, the kids are my first motivation for everything I do.

Secondly, it would be my Rheumatoid Arthritis and the Lupus. My Lupus is quiet right now, thankfully, because the RA is loud enough!  The RA directly impacts my first influence, the kids, so I had to include that.  It requires constant concessions and rearranging physically and mentally of our schedule and priorities.  It has made me appreciate every moment with my hubby and kids more because those special moments are fought for each day. 

Not too bad eh?


Looking beyond the Cracked Window...   Messages...

Phew, you made me work for it, Jodi!  I need some tea!

Be well,

More answers...

Comment from: vagabondevermore, Jan

Who is your greatest hero of all times?

This was tough as I admire many people.  The greatest of all time has to be Jesus.  Jesus the man, sans the divinity was one heck of a man.  I do not reject His divinity, it is just not something present or available in other potential heroes.  Jesus walked the walk and talked the talk.  Yet, He was not perfect.  He got angry, He made mistakes, He was sometimes sad.  Jesus placed love and kindness, compassion and understanding, above any rules of religion, politics, or social standards.  He consciously chose to contradict the "establishment" to promote His ideals knowing that it would eventually cost Him His life.  It is the absolute humanity of Jesus that speaks to me in my life. 

What was your childhood like?

Well, my next 2 heroes would be my mom and dad, so this is a nice follow-up.  My childhood was wonderful!  I was an only child to very giving, young parents.  I was lucky that all I remember are good times!  Until I became a teen, my life was anguish free!  As a teen, it was all self-imposed, so that doesn't count.  I had a lot of friends in the neighborhood and a bunch of cousins and aunt and uncles nearby, so I never remember feeling lonely.  I loved to read, even then.  I loved to play imaginative games and board games.  I did all kinds of clubs and activities and was a straight A student and usually, a teacher's pet!  I did dance class, all kinds of different instruments, gymnastics, Girl Scouts and Gifted and Talented Program.  We lived in the town I live in now with my kids.  A suburban, small town in Northern New Jersey.  My summer vacations were "down the shore" as we Jerseyites say, usually at Wildwood Crest.  The rest of my summer was spent at the town pool with my friends.  We played cards when we weren't swimming, but we swam a lot.  I did swim team too.  That pretty much describes it!


Another set of questions...

Comment from: hadonfield78, Hadon

1)  If your the Princess now, when will you be the Queen ??

Now, dear Hadon, didn't you read how I got my screen name in the last CarnivAOL?  My screen name was because of my childhood love of Princess Aurora, her name and mine meaning the same, and my daughter's love for the "Disney Princesses" as well!  As soon as I had a daughter, she became the "Princess" and I gotted bumped upstairs to "Queen" and my mom is now "Queen Mother".  Just like British Royalty!! LOL

2)  Do you wear the Princess Tiara to bed ??

My tiara has been passed down to the Princess and the Crown in in the Tower and only comes out on special occasions, but believe me, everyone knows who rules the roost around here!  tee hee

The Hadonfield Myers Experience  

More to come later!  Thanks everyone!  This is so much fun!   Be well,

More answers again

Everyone took all the good questions, already, LOL. But here it goes: (I don't tink so!)

1.  What's your favorite day of the week and why?

My favorite day of the week is Saturday, because my husband is home and we usually do stuff with the kids all day and either go out to dinner with the kids or ocassionally, just the two of us!

2.  What is the best book you ever read and why?

I think this is a great question, but impossible to answer!  I could never pick just one book, I have so very many favorites, and I do read some again and again.  I also think that this answer changes according to my mood and circumstance. 

I would have to say that first would be the entire Harry Potter series.  I love them.  They inspire me.  I love stories of good vs. bad, but good needs to triumph. 

This leads me to a second series that I love, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

Third, always on my night stand, The Arthritis Foundations Guide to Good Living with Rheumatoid Arthritis, for obvious reasons.

Fourth, also on my nightstand is Ben Stein's, A Gift of Peace.  It is a book of affirmations derived from his experience in twelve step programs, dealing with anxiety and illness and God.

Fifth, also on my nightstand is Nota Bene, a book of latin phrases and word origins.

I could go on and on...but I won't!

looking forward to reading your answers.


Of mini-paws and menopause

Be well,


More Answers

Comment from: dwaynegillispie
Oh my God, what an opportunity, and you swore to answer honestly and that you would answer.  Now how do I word the perverted questions so that I don't get kicked off AOL?

1.   What are your physical measurements?

Dwayne, Dwayne, Dwayne.  What am I going to do with you!  I will tell you that when I met my hubby, my measurements were really, really good.  Now, think Roseanne Barr, but not quite as chubby as her sitcom days.  I like to think of myself as "fluffy"!  Or better yet, Rubenesque!!!  lol  You didn't really think I would put my actual measurements online?

2.    How many times a week do you.............?

It is truly frightening that this is an easier question!  An average week is 2 times.  Remember, we have three kids, their two grandparents, one dog, two cats and numerous kid visitors to work around.  More than that is a really good week!! ;-D

Got to hide now,
Dwayne and Dude


This entry is not over until you read Dwayne's comments to it!!!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Some questions Answered

Comment from: swibirun, Chris, see links below
1)  What does squirrel taste like?

Ahh, a comedian.  I do not know.  I have never tasted squirrel. :-)

2)  What single day in your life did you seize the most?  (for me it was 5/13/1990 when I had a depressed skull fracture and 4 grand mal seizuires but that's a different story!)

First let me say, "ouch" and please explain that in email to me or on your journal!

The day that I seized most would have to be my wedding day, so far.  I had a beautiful Catholic Church ceremony and mass, and my hubby and I wrote our own vows in addition to the regular ones.  They must have been good because on my wedding video you can see that they reduced my bridesmaids to tears!  We were thrown the most wonderful wedding reception by my parents (thanks mom, again, if you are reading this) and it was magical!  The party itself was great, the DJ phenomenal.  Family and friends raved for years after about it.  To this day, it was the best wedding I have ever attended and my hubby and I always say we wish we could have been "just guests" because as the center of attention you have so much to do!  lol  At our reception though, hubby and I grabbed a very special quiet moment after the Venetian table came out with all the pastries and special coffees and aperitifs.  We went into our private room and had our espresso served to us alone by our personal waitress (who served us all day, it was a nice touch).  It was really sweet and romantic and gave us a second wind to get out there and dance and party some more, since my dad paid for an extra hour of fun!!!  ;-D

Thanks for asking, it was a wonderful memory to revisit!


Comment from: jckfrstross, Deb, see link below
ok here goes my 2

1. Do you like living where you are?

Yes! I love Northern New Jersey, and being in the NYC Metropolitan area!  It has wonderful benefits.  Culturally, you cannot find another area that has the diversity and varied exposure to other races, religions, cultures, arts, languages or foods!  I love that!  I love that I can get just about anything and everything you could imagine within a 10 minute drive from my front door.  Without even going into NYC.  NJ is also quite lovely, you cannot tell that from landing at Newark Airport, but it really is great.  We have wonderful parks, farmlands and the best beaches on the Northeast coast!

Sorry, I rambled a bit!

2. If you could be anything what would it be?

You know, I probably should have asked you to clarify the question.  I am going to assume that you mean occupationally, if I am wrong, leave another message and I will redo this answer!

If I could be anything, I would still be a wife and mother, but I would also be a successfully published author.  With a fan base, clamoring for MORE!!!


More tomorrow!  Thanks everyone!

Be well,

PS> If anyone wonders why I always make sure that my font is big, well, it is for all the over 40 somethings that need reading glasses and are in denial, you know who you are...but mostly it is for the many fellow sufferers of RA and/or Lupus that read my journal.  Big font helps keep already fatigued eyes from getting more so!!!

Moving on - Question Me!!!!

The squirrel is still about.  He really wants in.  He eats well at two neighbors who put out squirrel feed, he just wants to sleep by us.  Ugh.

Now, moving on... I want to try something I have seen on other journals.  I am going to tweak it a little bit though.

Question me! 

Post comments to this entry asking me any 2 (two) questions you would like me to answer!  They can be as thought provoking, frivolous or personal as you would like to get.  I will try to answer them all.  Be mindful of TOS, though, I do not want to get in trouble!!!

So, fire away!!  This should be lots of fun!  Others have done this with three questions each, but I limited it because of my RA and my hands get tired typing, so two questions should be good! 

I will start answering questions in the order received, tomorrow!!!

Go, shoot, let me have it...c'mon, you know you want to ask it!!!

Be well,


Monday, August 29, 2005

The Squirrel Saga Continues...

Yes, the squirrel saga continues.

My husband just spent about 20 minutes throwing wiffle balls, and other assorted toys at the squirrel as he leered at us.

The squirrel responded by chattering loudly and then digging at the side of our gutter, apparently determined to gain access back into the house!

At one point the squirrel went into the bushes in front of our windows and my hubby preceded to whack at it, ala the game "Whack a Mole".  Maybe you have seen this on a boardwalk, in an arcade or at the dreaded Chuck E Cheese establishment.

Let me just say, my hubby would NOT have won any tickets for prizes at the Chucksters prize counter.

The squirrel jumped back up to the gutter.  My bushes look bush "whacked".  Lovely.

The score seems to be even in the latest round of Humans vs. Squirrel.

The pictures show his jaunty, victorious look, don't they?

Come back tomorrow, the squirrel may have his own journal by that time.

Be well,


Ps... Our pest guy told us there were no babies in the attic for those concerned.  If it keeps up, we will recheck.

The Stalking Squirrel

We had a squirrel in the house last night.  Not a normal squirrel an intelligent, stalking squirrel!!!  Let me explain...

The saga began in the fall when we discovered that squirrels had accessed our attic!  We called the pest people and they put a contraption over the hole that allowed the squirrels to leave the attic, but not go back in.

It worked. 

That is when the stalking began.  The extremely offended squirrel leered over the gutter at my dad every time he left the house!  He would follow him along the line of the house to the side when my dad would put out the trash!  He would be waiting there, watching, everytime my dad came home from work or an errand!

Staring him down... it was creepy!  You could almost imagine the sniper rifle in his little black claws!

Winter came and went, no squirrel problem.

Spring arrives and somehow the squirrel, we know which one, pried open the thingy and got back into the attic!

Friday, the pest people came and put a new and improved thingy over the hole that the squirrel would not be able to bend after exiting.

He decided not to exit.  We could hear lots of scratching on Saturday and figured our little furry friend was quite perturbed but that he would eventually, leave.  Wrong.

Last night, while cleaning up from dinner, the squirrel appeared on top of our microwave, peering out at us! 

It exited a hole in the back of the cabinet.  Lovely.

My dad and I sent the kids and dog out of the kitchen and dining area.  My dad took up post in the kitchen and I in the far end of the dining room, so as to not let the squirrel gain access to our family room or stairs to the bedrooms!

We opened the back door and screen door and waited quietly.

The squirrel leaned far out over the top of the microwave and looked at the open door, FREEDOM.  He cautiously surveyed my dad and myself, stretched out further and promptly slipped on the microwaves smooth front, onto the floor!

Panicked, he ran under the dining room table, bypassing the door.  I slowly moved toward him, hoping to scare him toward the door, but not to panic him and send him elsewhere in the house.

It worked, he ran out the door and down the back stairs and disappeared!  Yay!

Until today. 

Our stalking squirrel is back at his post over the gutter by the driveway.  Ears back and looking really pissed off.  

I tried to get a picture, but the garbage truck came and scared him off for the time being. 

I know he will be back, watching, waiting. 

I hope the pest guys are right and this "better" thingy holds out and he does not get back inside!

Be well,



Sunday, August 28, 2005

Do you ever...?

Do you ever just wish you could turn back time?

I would like to go back to before the Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Do you ever wish you could just sleep and wake up refreshed?

Most of you probably do.  I often wake up still tired.  Like today.

Do you ever wish you could just play with your kids?

You probably do, and never give it a thought.

We played family whiffle ball last night and apparently, I am now suffering in several places because of it.  I woke up in pain.  My shoulder from swinging the bat.  My knees, my ankles from the running.

Do you ever wish you could just not take any medicines?

You may have a choice.  I don't.  Today was methotrexate day.  I actually put it off from Wednesday, since I had that reaction to the Remicade, so it has been 11 days since I last took it. 

It makes me tired and upsets my stomach a bit.  It is hard some days.  Thankfully, it is just once a week, right?

I also had to take my other "usual" day goes by without them.  Feldene, anti-inflammatory, 2 folic acid, a diuretic to help keep swelling down and 5 mgs of prednisone to keep away the inflammation and fatigue.

At night, paxil to help with pain, sleep and anxiety.

Do you ever just wish things were just simple?

I do. 

I wish I could just simply be well, just simply play and have fun with the kids without worrying about being sore, just simply take a tylenol or occasional motrin, not medicines that carry their own set of problems.  Just simple.

I just wish...

but instead, I have to fight.

Today, I am taking a jammie day.  Tomorrow, I will fight.

Be well,



Friday, August 26, 2005

Prayers need to be said - Or positive wishes if that is your preference...

Please go here:

Luanne has posted in her prayer journal asking for us to keep Krissy and her hubby, John, in our prayers.  John has been recently diagnosed with cancer.

Please visit the link above for details and a link to Krissy's journal.

Be well...Dawn



A shout out to those leaving Comments!

Just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who has been visiting my journal and leaving me comments!  I appreciate the feedback so much, more than words can express!!!  It lets me know that I really am reaching people, and that is what I want!!!  I have become friends with so many of you over the almost 6 months of blogging and my life is richer because of you.

Visit my poetry journal too, if you have time, at

Be well,



Thursday, August 25, 2005

Wants and Desires...Weekend Assignment #74

Weekend Assignment #74: Forget about the things you need -- Tell us about something you want.

What I want...hmmm, a totally frivolous desire???

It would have to be my own, just mine, not to share with kids or hubby laptop computer with all the bells and whistles. 

You know the one I mean.  The super light, super big screened has every pre-loaded software you could want, the fastest, mostest memory, easy to use, wireless internet fun box of love!!!!  YES!!  YES!!!!

Okay, a bit carried away there with the pleasure of it all. 

That is it.  That is what I want.  Can't afford it, won't be getting it probably ever, but that is probably the one totally selfish thing I want, just for me.  Yeah, I guess selfish implied that already, but it doesn't hurt to reiterate that point.

Be well,



Remicade Fun

Remicade, for those who do not know, is a medicine administered through an IV infusion to control Rheumatoid Arthritis.

I went for my infusion yesterday, and had an interesting day.

Last month, after the infusion, I had a heaviness in my chest.  I called my rheumatologist who told me that as long as it went away and did not advance to pain or difficulty breathing, not to worry.  It did go away overnight, as she said it would.

So, my infusion started at about 10:15 am yesterday morning.  I was a little delayed because we missed a vein getting my blood and then my vein blew just as they finished getting blood.  Joy.

Thankfully, the IV needle went in good.  At about 10:40am I started to feel the heavy in the chest feeling.  I would describe it as similar to when you swim for a long time and then try to take a deep breath.  The infusion room was hopping with lots of patients so, I didn't say anything at first thinking it was no big deal.

At about 11:15am, I decided to mention it to one of the nurses as things seemed to be quieter.  Well, quiet no more!  All three RN's descended upon me and began to question and check me, vitals etc.  They stopped my Remicade and began to flush me with a big old bag of saline.  I do take a benedryl as a pre-medication but just one 25mg pill, they quickly had me take another.  They called my doc but she was on vacation so they called the covering doc who came to check me also.  Before she arrived they ran a quick ECG just to be sure my heart was not involved, which I knew it wasn't and the ECG was clean.  The doc listened to my chest, deemed me moving air well, checked my O2 saturation which was good also, and then had them give me a bag of Solumedrol (prednisone) via IV to stop whatever was happening. 

After the bag of 'roids and about 1/2 a big ole' bag of saline and lots of pee trips the heaviness disappeared.  I guess this was about an hour later.  After a conference with the head of the Infusion Unit, or the Big Cheese RN as we like to call her, we restarted my infusion only super-duper slooooowly.

Thankfully, no more heaviness and I made it through the rest of the infusion and got my Remicade on board!!!

I really do not want to lose using the Remicade because it is working really well for me!!!  Next month the plan will be to give me the 2 Benedryl, the bag of 'roids and then the Remicade super-duper sloooow.  Prayers and positive thoughts would be appreciated that this will work!!!

It was a bit scary, although, I felt I was fine and they were all overly nervous.  They assured me that they had seen this before and usually as a precursor to having to hit people with epinephrine and hospitalizing them to stop a horrible reaction.  But, I never felt like I was heading into that.  Either, that is my big ole'denial working overtime, or who knows maybe I am right and they were wrong.  I will do whatever pre-meds they want though.

I am tired today.  I usually am after my IV anyhow, but I think the added excitement and the fact that my hubby woke me to the sounds of demolition in our basement below our bedroom might have something to do with it.

Tomorrow, I should feel great!  Remicade on board and some steroids to shut up my aching joints - Yee-haw!!!!

Be well my dear j-land friends,


Mystic Mini Vacation

We just returned on Tuesday from Mystic, Connecticut! 

Mystic has a historic Seaport on the Mystic River which is really cool.  We did see some of the Seaport but we actually spent more time at other attractions.

First, we went to the Navy Submarine Base at Groton.  You can't get onto the actual base since 9/11 but they have a museum of submarine history and the decommissioned sub the Nautilus for you to tour.  The Nautilus was the first Navy sub powered by nuclear energy.  There were active Sailors in the museum answering questions and that was great.  The one sailor we spent quite a bit of time with.  He was quite surprised at how knowledgeable Hammer is about submarines and nuclear energy.  It was really a great experience.

On Hammer's actual 13th birthday, we did what he wanted and the reason for our trip.  The Mystic Aquarium!!!  It was great!  We all got to pet a manta ray which was cool!  They are very slimy feeling and soft.

They are most known for their Beluga whales and they were quite spectacular!  I was able to take some wonderful pics as you can see!  The penguin exhibit is also one of the best around. 

Afterward, we shopped in Olde Mystic Village!  Great stuff!  Quaint little shops full of wonderful crafts and other unique items!  I went wild in the Christmas shop and cannot wait to pass on the goodies at the holidays!

We stayed at the Mystic Marriott and swam each night in their wonderful pool and I got to lounge in the jacuzzi.  Very nice!

That's you know where I have been.  Later I will update you about my scary day yesterday... but enough for now!

Be well,


Thursday, August 18, 2005

My Baby Boy is going to be 13!!!

My mother always said to me "Time goes faster and faster each year as you get older."

Since I knew everything already as a kid, I can remember rolling my eyes at her and thinking, time is time, it goes as fast as it goes.  A year is a year! 

Now, of course, I know she is right.  Each year the year goes faster, it seems to grow shorter.

Einstein should have applied all his genius to this little trick of physics instead of the photoelectric effect and relativity. 

On Monday, August 22, 2005, my first baby, my sweet, quirky, genius child will be 13.

A teenager.  13. 

How can this be?  I remember the weekend of his labor and birth as if it was yesterday. 

I can remember bringing him home and showing him to his crib for the first time.

I remember feeding him his first cereal and how he loved it!

I remember that he never slept but was always happy and intensely examining everything, even as a baby.

I remember that first Christmas, laying him in the wrapping paper discards, and taking his picture.

I remember his first wobbly steps and how he seemed to go from toddling into running in less than a day!

I remember his first birthday party and how he fell asleep before Barney the Dinosaur arrived!!!  He was so exhausted and missed it all!

I remember everything but still it seems like it was just yesterday, that it could not possibly be 13 whole years. 

I wish I could have some of those first days back now.

Especially, since as a first time mom, I worried and fussed so much.  I definitely was more relaxed during the infancy of 2 and 3.  I guess it happens that way for everyone, but it would be nice to go back to one of those days when he was my only babe and he and I were home alone together.

I would just hold him all day and just cherish the quiet mommy and baby time, just him and I.

But, I can't go back. 

So, I will cherish now, as I do, and cherish the young man that he is becoming. 

I am so honored to be his mom.

I love you, my firstborn.  Happy Birthday!

Be well,


Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Suiting up for Football

My hubby called and advised that he would not be home in time to suit up Fuzzy for football practice.  Today is the first day of football practice in FULL pads and practice uniform.

I have to do it.

Okay.  At 5:10pm suiting up for football began. 

Fuzzy drops his drawers and rips off his shirt, he is now stark naked.

Jock.  Check.

Girdle, with hip and butt pads.  Check.

Under Armour t-shirt (specifically made for hot days under your football gear).  Check.

Football practice pants, with thigh and knee pads.  Check.

Tuck shirt into pants.  Check.

Lace up pants front and secure belt.  Check.

Rib cage protector jacket.  Check.

Shoulder pads.  Check.

Practice jersey.  Check.

Helmet with chin strap and mouth piece ready to go.  Check.

Okay, we are finally done.  Fuzzy prances around, for his brother, his grandpa and me.  Shows us his planned end-zone, post-touchdown victory dance.

Then, this darling child/man turns to me and says, "Hey, how do I pee in this stuff?"

I say, "Duh, you have to take off all the bottom layers, just like normal, but now you have THREE layers, why???  Please don't tell me you didn't pee before we did all this and NOW you DO?"

"Sorry Mom, I gotta go!" says Fuzzy.

Let me just say that I guess doing it all TWICE means I am really well practiced for tomorrow!!! 

These are surely the moments of my life now, that I will miss the most when they are all grown.  I love sharing this way, I will never forget them!

Fuzzy is at practice with his dad and the house is buzzing with some new kids.  Never a dull moment around here. 

Hammer and his two friends are playing video games.

Pumpkin Muffin and hers are making poetry books at the dining room table and singing the new Hilary Duff song, "Wake Up" over and over and over for my musical enjoyment!

I will miss this, I will miss this, I will miss this, someday! ;-D

Be well,

Just some stuff

This is Fuzzy in his practice football uniform!  I can't believe he is getting so big!  Looking at the picture it is hard to believe that this is the same tough guy who comes looking for mommy to cuddle with at night sometimes, huh?

<sigh> Time flies....


I have a houseful today! 

5 boys outside playing whiffle ball on the driveway and on the street.  2 girls playing a board game at the dining room table!

So, do the math, one extra girl and 3 extra boys!  lol

The boys were inside too because it was raining.  I am so glad they went outside!  They were playing Mario Party 6 and you would have thought there was a murder going on!  The screaming, the squealing!!!  Yikes!  I can't wait until their voices change!  Actually, yes I

Okay, the girls have joined the boys now, outside.  He he, should be fun now! 

Yesterday, one of the boys who is here today, Fuzzy's friend, M, fell off his bike.  He was scraped up pretty darn bad, 3 leg gashes and one elbow.  I patched him up with my dad and called his mom, who came over and brought him and his bike home.  M is still bandaged up but is running around like it never happened, of course!  Ahhh, to be 10 again!

Remember my wipe out at the Parent/Scout kickball game?  I still have marks on my shins from the scrape!  lol  The difference between 39 and 10!!  And, the immuno-suppressive meds I am on certainly add to my lack of healing.

Two of the kids that here today, brother and sister, are hopefully letting their dad have a nice nap while they are here.  Their dad was supposed to have arthroscopic knee repair surgery yesterday but when they went to give him anesthesia he had a horrific reaction and was intubated and everything.  Needless to say, his throat is scraped and sore and he feels like a Mack truck ran over him several times.  His surgery is now going to be Thursday late afternoon.  No more anesthesia, they are going to use a local block now.  What a week!!!  Say a prayer for my friend, if you could, please!

Never a dull moment as they say...

Be well,


Monday, August 15, 2005

The Knight

The Knight
You scored 26% Cardinal, 41% Monk, 44% Lady, and 51% Knight! You are the hero. Brave and bold. You are strong and utterly selfless. You are also a pawn to your superiors and will be lucky if you live very long. If you survive the Holy wars you are thrust into you will be praised for your valor and opportunities both romantic and financial will become available to you.

From My friend Deb's Journal -

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Here I am! (sorry I haven't journaled...)

These are my angels.  I wanted to share them with you.  Hammer is on the left, Fuzzy in the center, and Pumpkin Muffin on the right.  That is their birth order, too!  Hammer will be 13, on 8/22.  Unbelieveable.

I would like to say things are nice cool here, but they are not. 

NJ is still hot, humid and nasty.  However, finally around 6 pm this evening we got some rain.  Of course, not a calm, steady, soaking rain. NO.  Torrents.  Buckets.  Lightning.  Thunder.

The ground cannot soak it in after being baked into a hardened concrete like mass in 90 degree weather for three odd weeks. 

Therefore, we have flooding going down our basement back stair thing and flooding all around the local streets too.  YUCK.

We also have my favorite odor around the house, eau du wet dog.  No, she won't go out to pee in between storms, but at the height of the deluge which she hates and then acts like it is my fault as she shakes off all over me.  P - U.

Then, add the fact that it is 11:35 pm and Pumpkin Muffin has gotten her 8 year old body so worked up over the thunder and lightning that she is wide awake and laying in the family room with daddy.  UGH.

Fuzzy just came down a few minutes ago, to hit the bathroom, but miraculously, returned to his own bed.  Hmph.  He may have sensed that little sis is going to be keeping us awake for most of the night and figures he is better off far away from it. 

More lightning just flashed.  It is going to be a loooooong night here in the Princess' castle.  A very long night indeed.

I hope this note finds everyone happy and healthful and I hope that your weekend was lovely.  Mine was rather nice in spite of the heat.

Be well, dear journal-land friends, more tomorrow,


Friday, August 12, 2005

Tagged by Gem for Book Reviews

Gem, over at Journally Yours has tagged me!!!

Subject: Your turn...really! ;-)
Author: libragem007
"You're're being this what you will...

Now you are "IT!"

LOL!! I was tagged by Laura ~ and in her entry, she mentioned that I share the books I read. So here's my "write and tell" choices of books because it helped me inside out. Read on why with excerpts from the book itself.

But first.......................I tagged and "pimpin'" the following journal writers in alpha order...hopefully they will share their love of reading as well!

Since I play nice, I am "it" and will pass on some of the books I just read and really enjoyed!

First, The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova.  This is the authors first novel and it took her ten years to write.  It has been on the best seller list since released in hardcover in June.  It is a long, descriptive tale, full of history and mystery about one of my favorite fantasy subjects, Dracula.  It is intelligent and engaging.  Nearing the climax at the end, I could not put it down, and read until way after my bedtime!  I recommend it highly and would give it 4.5 out 5 stars!

Next, Monday Mourning by Kathy Reichs, which is new to paperback recently.  This is another outstanding effort in the Tempe Brennan series.  Dr. Brennan is a forensic pathologist who works for six months in Quebec and 6 months is North Carolina.  I have enjoyed all of the books so far in this series and this was one of the best.  It is full of great science and great suspense as we find out who 3 skeletonswere, how and why they were murdered, and that the murderer is still out there and still dangerous.  Excellent.  I give it 4.2 out of 5 stars!  Great quick read, don't read the end with the lights out! (duh, you know what I mean!)

Third, Memorial Day by Vince Flynn, also new to paperback.  Like the last book this is also a continuation of a series that I love.  Mitch Rapp is the leading man in these books, he is a CIA operative extraordinaire, and the President's and CIA Director's go-to guy in the fight against terrorism.  I personally love these books because I recognize the fact that the fiction written within is probably closer to the truth out there on any given day.  That truth being that the terrorists are here, and are often foiled at the last minute, and we, "the public" are none the wiser.  This book was the best in the series so far, in my opinion, an edge of the seat thriller and a fast, yet suspensful and detailed read.  I give it 4.7 out of 5 stars!

As you can see, my taste in books runs the gamut!  I would also like to do a quick shout out about the book Must Love Dogs by Claire Cook.  It is much better and funnier than the movie!  It is a light read but full of "pee in your pants" laughs!!  Don't read with a full bladder!!!  LOL consider yourself tagged!  I would love to see some book recommendations from all of you!!! 

C'mon Michael, Dwayne, Hadon, Susan, Deb, Luanne and everyone else...let's hear them !  What should we read?

Be well,


Thursday, August 11, 2005

Slam BAM Thank you, Mom

Let me describe to you a typical day for my daughter the Princess Pumpkin Muffin.

She exits around 11 am.  Slam.

Slam.  "Mom!  I'm taking the blanket outside."  Slam.

Slam.  "Mom!  I'm taking out Monopoly, V and I are going to play under the tree."  Slam.

Slam.  "Mom!  Can we have FlavorIce pops?  Thanks."  Slam.

It is now 11:30 am.

Slam.  "Gotta pee."  Slam.

Slam.   "Mom!  It is too hot, can we come in?"  I answer, "No, but it will be lunch soon."  "Okay."  Slam.

Slam.  "Mom!  Can V come to lunch?"  I answer, "No, she came yesterday for lunch, not today, okay?"  "Okay."  Slam.

Slam.  "Are the Bagel Bites ready?"  I answer, "No, Pumpkin Muffin, I just put them in 2 minutes ago."  "Okay."  Slam.

Slam.  "It's too hot, I am just going to wait for lunch."  I answer, "Please clean up outside then."  Slam.  Slam.  Slam.

You didn't expect that all in one trip?


And this continues much the same all day.  I can't take it anymore.  The boys either go out or stay in.  Maybe they come in once for refreshments but that is about it.  They are much more "compact" about there ins and outs.

I know... girls are just different than boys.  I didn't even start complaining to her about the constant in and out until this week.  She doesn't get it.  <sigh>

Did I mention that my hubby is an expert at commercial grade entraceway systems (read:doors) and is sought out for his expertise in all of NYC??? 

Yeah, and our front screen door slams.  Loudly.  A lot.  All day.

My mom used to lock the screen door on me so I couldn't go in and out all day.  Now, I get it.  It took me six weeks into this particular summer, but now, I understand. 

I swore I wouldn't EVER do that to my kids.


Be well,





Wednesday, August 10, 2005

10 Things You Don't Know About Me

I decided after I saw this as a suggestion to keep your blog from getting boring (gasp!), not that mine would ever be, I would give it a try!  lol

So, I am going to list things about myself that you cannot find anywhere previously mentioned in my blog! 

I hope I get lots of comments... this should be fun!

10.     I got pregnant on my honeymoon.  Using birth control.  Okay, obviously, not very well, but it was in use.

9.     My first car was a 1970 Cutlass Supreme Coupe.  It was gold and gorgeous and it was smokin' fast!

8.     My middle name is Ann and my parents initials and mine all matched until I was married!  D-A-L.  I know, very corny, blame my mom.

7.     Officially, I am an only child.  My best friend became my "adopted" sister when I was 17 and she was 19!

6.     I could have been in Mensa, I passed the test, couldn't afford the NYC dues.

5.     My favorite meal is filet mignon, butterflied & well-done, from Ruth Chris Steakhouse, with a lobster tail and drawn butter and bernaise sauce for the steak.  I also love their au gratin potatoes as the side dish.  YUM. 

4.     Rather than drink beer or wine, I love an exceedingly cold Belvidere Vodka Martini, very dry, very cold, shaken and with lime, no olive, no onion.  If pressed, I will drink vodka straight if it is icy cold and a superior vodka.  No one ever believes this until they see me drink it... lol.  Unfortunately, due to RA meds, I rarely drink anymore.  And before RA it was only twice a month maybe! lol

3.     I am an empath.  (those who believe will understand those who don't, won't)

2.     Most unusual "whoopee" place would have been with hubby on a pool table in a closed bar(pre-marriage, but with my hubby!).

1.       I love all kinds of music.  The CD's in my 6 CD disc changer right now are BonJovi CrossRoads, Mozart, Randy Travis Forever & Ever, Led Zeppelin Houses of the Holy, Evanescence and James Taylor.  (in the visor I have Def Leppard, Cher, Springsteen, U2 and Madonna)

Scary, huh? 

Now, you know some fun and funky things about me!  Link me to your journals and let's see YOU do the same!!!!  YAY!

Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Monday Photo Shoot on Tuesday

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Snap a picture of something odd that you have in your house. And, no, don't take any pictures of your spouse. Really, that's just mean. No, I'm talking some object that when people see it in your house, they stop and say something like "Huh. You don't see that every day. from John Scalzi

This is one of my cats, Tina.  She was a feral kitten that we adopted from a rescue agency.  I submit her as "odd" because she hates everyone except my hubby.  She is addicted to him.  So much so, that she must rub herself all over his discarded clothing and even sleep in/on them.

This is Tina sleeping in my hubby's jeans that he absently dropped to the floor in our family room late one night after the munchkins went to bed. 

He is always hot, and is often too lazy to go get a pair of shorts for over his shorts.  Yeah, I pity me, too.  You get used to it. 

His comment is - "It pays to advertise."  Whatever.

So, here is my very odd kitty sleeping in her daddy's pants!!!

I know you are all jealous...

Both cat and hubby can be rented out... no, shared free of charge at a family room of your choice.  LOL

Be well,


I am an Espresso

You Are an Espresso
At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic

At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung

You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping

Your caffeine addiction level: high


By the way...this is soooooo ME!!!  LOL



Monday, August 8, 2005

Hats off to Hadon

I have to take my hat off to Hadon and admit something.

First read Hadon's comment...

Comment from: hadonfield78
"Hadon is here (Sneeking in the door, with head hung down low) "Well, I certainly got my lumps on that one didnt I ?"
I didnt know that the comment upset you so. I wish you would have told me.  I do apologize if it made you upset. The reason why I said what I said, was because you were talking in defeat when you said "I will still be a lump".  I needed you to muster up the anger to fight, fight, fight. If I pissed you off enough to think about fighting, then I acheived what I had hoped to.
What makes me think that I can pass out mental medicine to someone in your situation ??  I have RA as well. I was diagnosed 5 years ago. And it takes all the energy I have to get out of bed every morning. I also have bulged discs in my neck which are tapping against my spinal cord, which causes me to lose feeling in my arms and legs. Which also provides for some killer migranes. But I dont give up. Why ??   Because I am 45, and I want another 55 years. Im going to live to be 100. Thats my goal. And Im not gonna let this stupid desease take me out of the game. But thats just how I feel about me.
I again apologize if I upset you. I hope that you will forgive me."

Not only are you forgiven...I truly hope you forgive me!

I did not know that you had RA.  AND, I fully admit that it would have COMPLETELY changed how I took your comments!

I assumed (ok, there it is...ass u me, I know) that you were making your comments as a healthy guy who didn't have a clue.

You do have a clue and not only that you have RA!  Well, knock me over with a feather!!! 

If you had included a little post script that mentioned that, the whole tone with which I read your comment would have been completely different and I would have read the "get up and fight" you were intending for me to hear!

Thank you, forbeing gracious to a fault, as I used you as an example of what a HEALTHY person should not say!  LOL

However, you may kick me in the butt and yell at me to get up and fight any day.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

You are a great guy!!!!  And hopefully, they will find a cure for auto-immune disease and we will all live happily and healthily (is that a word?) into our 100's!!! 

We can stand next to Willard on the Today Show!  Of course, he will be a stuffed taxidermied Willard, but that is okay!

Be well,

A Humbled Dawn




Extrication Commenced and Completed

Everyone will be happy to know that my head has been located and pulled out from my butt.

I have gotten over my dark mood and my need to scream and rage at the world.  I suppose I "got over it" by doing there ya go!

My flare is also starting to subside.  I am not 100% but I am better, and for that I will be happy!

A thousand thanks to everyone who was so kind to post comments to me.  Thank you for your good wishes and prayers.  Thank you for your understanding and validation of my moments of frustration, anger and sadness.

That said, I am going to print someone's comment and comment on it!  LOL  ;-D

Comment from: hadonfield78
"Do you wish to be a Lump ??
Remember, we cannot expect others to help us, unless we are willing to help ourselves.
What is it you want to acheive ??"

Spoken like a healthy man

I know you posted this comment only to help, and I truly thank you for that. 

BUT, (and I do this for the women in your life, and in case anyone you love develops a chronic illness) you missed the mark of providing any help or comfort.  I was really pissed off when I read it!

Don't feel bad, my hubby also has the same effect when on me when things are really tough, and he has known me for 15 years! 

1)  Of course, I do not want to achieve being a lump.  What I want to achieve is to NOT have this disease and I CANNOT have that.  You, much like hubby, think I am looking for a "fix" in some way.  I am not.

2) You seem to think I want "others to help".  I did not ask for help.  I do not want or need help.  I needed validation.  More on that in a minute.

2) Dealing with chronic illness is not like dealing with a "situational illness" or mental illness.  This disease is with me forever.  I will not have chemo and be cured.  I will not have surgery to repair my bad heart, kidneys or liver.  I cannot take medicine that will allow me to live a normal life.

I can take medicine to help me cope with my symptoms.  I can go for infusions that attack part of the immune system response that triggers symptoms with my disease. 

I will still always have the disease.  Actually both of them. 

I will have bad days and I will have good days and I will have horrible, awful days.  I have a lifelong battle ahead of me and sometimes I will get weary as a warrior.

Sometimes, I will need to scream, rant and rage at the world and feel like a lump.

What I need most, is validation that it is okay for me to revisit those feelings. 

I need friends and family to pray for me, send good thoughts, and to give me a hug (in person or cyber), and tell me to let it all out and that it will get better again.

It is really simple.

You are sweet and I love your journal, and I hope you do not mind that I have made you an example. 

I did think this was an important message to get out there and I know all my friends in the Chronic Illness boat with RA, Lupus, MS, MG, AS, etc. will agree.

Be well,



Thursday, August 4, 2005

My Dark Mood

 Here is the thing....  

I am feeling immature, ungrateful and stupid, because of how I am feeling!  There are many who are less blessed and more ill than I am, so how dare I be so self-absorbed.  

I am pissed off at the world.  I am fed up with this rotten disease.  My father is better than I am, 9 days after an angioplasty and insertion of 2 stents.  He is fine.  Back to normal, actually, better - because the worse blockages are freed up and he feels GREAT.  At 65.  

Do you have any idea how inadequate I feel having him run circles around me?  I am not even 40 yet!  I am ONLY 39.   

I feel awful.  I am in a huge flare.  My hands and left wrist are messed up.  My left knee keeps seizing up when I set still too long and when I sleep.  My feet are sore and throbbing.  My left ankle is clicking and hurting.  I am in a fog of fatigue and very angry about it.   

I am more depressed than I deserve to be.  I have not called back people who are calling me...because I just don't have the energy to deal with anyone.   

I just wish this disease had an end in sight, but like all chronic illness, it does not.   

So, I ride the roller coaster of grief, denial, anger, depression, acceptance.   And, I have to keep riding it over and over and over.  

I am mad that hubby is completely blind to how awful I am feeling.  I tried to talk to him the other night and he fell asleep on me.  He knows something is wrong...but really has not tried to find out.  He knows that I am sore, but he'd rather watch me pretending than know much more and I am angry about that too.  On the other hand, at least he can avoid and deny it.  Good for him.  

I feel bad for my husband and kids that they have been saddled with such a horrible burden.   How am I supposed to raise my kids when I have to push myself to get up and get dressed and then I feel like crap after I do??  How?  

I just want to scream and scream and scream.  And scream some more.   

That is basically it in a nutshell.  I am mad and depressed all at the same time.  I have no right to be.  I have a blessed life.   And it does no good, raging at the world.  I will still have this shitty disease and will still be a lump at 39.

Humor Test

the Wit
(65% dark, 30% spontaneous, 33% vulgar) your humor style:

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

OKCupid! The 3 Variable Funny Test

Thanks Paul...this was fun!  And I think it does describe me!! lol

Tuesday, August 2, 2005

CarnivAOL Edition #2

CarnivAOL is out with its next addition of great journal entried!  Go check it out here:

It has something for everyone, and lots of my favorite journalers are there along with some wonderful new Journals to explore!

Be well,




Monday, August 1, 2005

Tough Times

There are many of my online friends going through tough times right now.  I won't try to list them because my RA/Lupus fog-ridden brain may forget someone and that would be bad.

Instead, a huge cyber hug is being sent to all of you.

{{{{ hugs, love and kisses}}}}

You have to imagine my nice squishy, chubby, almost 40 body giving it to you...think Roseann from the sitcom, except I am blonde and cuter!  <grin>

Of course, all this misery has me pondering. 

I am not doing so great either, but I am good at pretending!

My left wrist hurts.  I have been getting the weird arm twitching and funky sensations all weekend.  I have been having trouble swallowing again too, who knows what that means.  My body is overall achy and sore.  I am really fatigued.  Back in the pea soup world again.  I hate it.

I know that I am in this weakened and sore state because I am just not bouncing back from last weeks stress with my dad, and lack of sleep.  Even though he came home last Wednesday and I have had extra sleep and rest since then.

Someone healthy would be fine.  They would be back to normal and happily moving on with no ill effects!  Heck, my dad is in better shape than me at this point!!!

I am frustrated, and angry at my RA that I am not bouncing back to my "normal".  I know that I can't ever have back real normal.  That is a given.  But, my new normal would be nice right now.

Like so many of my friends in pain, I cling to hope.  Sometimes my grip isn't that tight.  It is hard.  It is so very hard.

As I read in a journal today, all we really want is to be understood.  I don't want your pity.  That would be putting the nails in the coffin.  It would make me less human, and I cannot have that.

I will fight.  Today, I may not come out on top, but maybe tomorrow I will. 

As for the answer to that, I will "Let Go and Let God".  I have to surrender that up to Him, because it is beyond my control.  That is where my faith kicks in and carries me through.

Be well everyone,