Monday, August 8, 2005

Extrication Commenced and Completed

Everyone will be happy to know that my head has been located and pulled out from my butt.

I have gotten over my dark mood and my need to scream and rage at the world.  I suppose I "got over it" by doing it...so there ya go!

My flare is also starting to subside.  I am not 100% but I am better, and for that I will be happy!

A thousand thanks to everyone who was so kind to post comments to me.  Thank you for your good wishes and prayers.  Thank you for your understanding and validation of my moments of frustration, anger and sadness.

That said, I am going to print someone's comment and comment on it!  LOL  ;-D

Comment from: hadonfield78
"Do you wish to be a Lump ??
Remember, we cannot expect others to help us, unless we are willing to help ourselves.
What is it you want to acheive ??"

Spoken like a healthy man

I know you posted this comment only to help, and I truly thank you for that. 

BUT, (and I do this for the women in your life, and in case anyone you love develops a chronic illness) you missed the mark of providing any help or comfort.  I was really pissed off when I read it!

Don't feel bad, my hubby also has the same effect when on me when things are really tough, and he has known me for 15 years! 

1)  Of course, I do not want to achieve being a lump.  What I want to achieve is to NOT have this disease and I CANNOT have that.  You, much like hubby, think I am looking for a "fix" in some way.  I am not.

2) You seem to think I want "others to help".  I did not ask for help.  I do not want or need help.  I needed validation.  More on that in a minute.

2) Dealing with chronic illness is not like dealing with a "situational illness" or mental illness.  This disease is with me forever.  I will not have chemo and be cured.  I will not have surgery to repair my bad heart, kidneys or liver.  I cannot take medicine that will allow me to live a normal life.

I can take medicine to help me cope with my symptoms.  I can go for infusions that attack part of the immune system response that triggers symptoms with my disease. 

I will still always have the disease.  Actually both of them. 

I will have bad days and I will have good days and I will have horrible, awful days.  I have a lifelong battle ahead of me and sometimes I will get weary as a warrior.

Sometimes, I will need to scream, rant and rage at the world and feel like a lump.

What I need most, is validation that it is okay for me to revisit those feelings. 

I need friends and family to pray for me, send good thoughts, and to give me a hug (in person or cyber), and tell me to let it all out and that it will get better again.

It is really simple.

You are sweet and I love your journal, and I hope you do not mind that I have made you an example. 

I did think this was an important message to get out there and I know all my friends in the Chronic Illness boat with RA, Lupus, MS, MG, AS, etc. will agree.

Be well,

Dawn

 

7 comments:

jckfrstross said...

Way to girl.... Like my son always says quack quack let it roll off your back lol


Deb

klconard1 said...

Dawn dear -- oh my, I am torn between chuckling and shaking my head at the comment you included in this entry!

It's a very straightforward comment and I am sure it is well-meant.  As you say ..... BUT ...... the truth is there are sometimes when we who BLOG --- and we who journal the old-fashioned way on paper for no eyes other than our own --- just need to explode the sum of our thoughts and emotions into the written word.

Expressing those thoughts and feelings is help in itself.  Once I get that far along, I know I am gonna be OK again sometime, even if I am feeling like and saying the world has collapsed on me.

Sometimes it is a cry from the heart for help.  Sometimes it is just a release for the pressure.  

And sometimes, when we cry out like that, we are at a moment when we can't help ourselves, but others can and do help by giving their loving support and encouragement.  They can't fix our problems -- or our attitudes -- but they can give us a soft spot to fall when the rest of the world might not be doing that for us.

Congrats and hugs on leaving the dark mood behind you dear!
loving you
karyl

yankeygr said...

I'm standing here clapping my hands for you! Very well put! You know that sometimes we all need a reality check.  Sometimes it hard for somebody who has never had to deal with what you and many others have to deal with everyday. They just dont get it! Did that make sense?   You just vent and scream all you want! I know that I, for one, will support you 100% Hugs to you, Dawn!
            Love Rhonda

schnozbeary said...

Dawn, woo-hoo at releasing the dark mood... I am pretty sure Hadon meant well, but he is not where you are at.. he has no concept of how to approach where you are at except for just as he did. Hadon, I can say, is very busy trying to find himself and is offering himself at the level he can. No one, including me, can understand your pain, except for those who share it...We all contribute at the level we are able and while Hadon's comment may indeed have been mis-directed, it was in the vein of "help", not hindrance, at least I think it was. There are so damn many stigmas attached to "chronic illness" that it has become one of the latest targets for those who would demean and belittle the daily toll these illnesses take on a human being, I agree, but I do not believe that was the intent here. P.S. My Grandpa had Shingles until the day he died...lived with it for 12 years before he could rest..... {{{{{Dawn}}}} Take care of you, Penny

princesssaurora said...

Penny...

I do know that Hadon meant well, I hope that came across!  I know he was offering help... I was really trying to help him back in some way and making an example for my dumb struck hubby as well.... lol

Thanks - Dawn

sdoscher458 said...

No one can feel anothers pain...but you can have empathy for that person, like I know when my sister gets her migrains..she gets a look in her eyes that I know is pain...but others don't see it. I'm glad that you are getting better..try to be a little stress free if at all possible (I know its hard with your Dad & all...but you must worry about yourself too)...be well...Sandi  http://journals.aol.com/sdoscher458/LifeIsFullOfSurprises

hadonfield78 said...

Hadon is here (Sneeking in the door, with head hung down low)
"Well, I certainly got my lumps on that one didnt I ?"
I didnt know that the comment upset you so. I wish you would have told me.
I do apologize if it made you upset.
The reason why I said what I said, was because you were talking in defeat when you said "I will still be a lump".  I needed you to muster up the anger to fight, fight, fight. If I pissed you off enough to think about fighting, then I acheived what I had hoped to.
What makes me think that I can pass out mental medicine to someone in your situation ??  I have RA as well. I was diagnosed 5 years ago. And it takes all the energy I have to get out of bed every morning. I also have bulged discs in my neck which are tapping against my spinal cord, which causes me to lose feeling in my arms and legs. Which also provides for some killer migranes. But I dont give up. Why ??   Because I am 45, and I want another 55 years. Im going to live to be 100. Thats my goal. And Im not gonna let this stupid desease take me out of the game.
But thats just how I feel about me.
I again apologize if I upset you. I hope that you will forgive me.