Monday, January 16, 2006

Marriage and Perfect Men, (ahem)


There is no perfect anything.  This we know.  

However, as women, we tend to cling to that ideal a lot longer than our male counterparts do. 

As I pointed out to a friend, the men's picture could look similar to the one above, except waiting for women. 

She rightfully pointed out that I was wrong.  The men would get bored with waiting, go get some beer and find some sports to watch, completely forgetting about the search.

I do believe she is right, and I stand, humbly, corrected.

Men and women are just different.  We want men to be men at all times except for those times when we want them to be women! 

Does that sound confusing or like I have been drinking today? 

Let me explain.

If there is a spider to be killed, a tire to be changed, a dvd player to be connected to the tv, or a noise to be investigated in the middle of the night, I want a man to do it.  Preferably, my hubby, but I will opt for my dad if hubby is not available.

It isn't that I can't do any of the things above, I don't want to.

I want my manly man to do the manly man thing and come to my rescue.  I blame the fairy tales.  We were told as kids that our 'knight in shining armour' would come and rescue us!  I tell my daughter after we read the same fairy tales, that she should just go out and slay her own dragons or push the evil queen off the cliff herself.

Will that help when she gets older and begins to have relationships with men?  I don't know, we'll see.

Conversely, when there is crap laying around the house from the kids, dishes to be washed, laundry to be done, or the need for someone to listen to me complain without trying to 'fix' anything, then I want my man, my hubby, to respond like a woman.

I want him to actually be able to see that there is stuff to be done and do it.  Not ask, while gazing at a mess of kids things ask, 'Do these need to be put away?'  He has this knack of walking past something that needs to be put in the garage, in the recycling bin, for days!  I mean, how can he do that?   Apparently, the same way he can drop his shoes in the middle of the living room floor and walk around them for days since he has decided to wear other shoes. 

I also want him to listen to my bi%#*-ing without feeling the need to then tell me several ways of 'handling' the problem.  Just listen, validate my feelings without the need to 'fix'.  It seems to be a very difficult thing for him to do.

Basically, as my hubby points out, I want him to listen and react like a woman friend would.  Well, yes!  That is exactly it!

Except, for the times I need you to be a manly man!!!  LOL

I have to say, I am very lucky.  My hubby is wonderful at the laundry and does do most of it, except, when my mom is helping out.  It is a tough thing for me to do, going up and down the stairs with a laundry basket with the RA.

He tries, he really does, in other ways, too.

But, mostly, he is a man and I am a woman.  And, we continue to compromise and work at finding the happy middle for us both!

Be well,


thebaabee said...

I love it.  As Gary and I celebrate our 22nd anniversary today I was remembering our years together.  And, as you wrote ......

"But, mostly, he is a man and I am a woman.  And, we continue to compromise and work at finding the happy middle for us both!"

Isn't it wonderful that we can do this?  And, it's not even hard.

It dawned on me on Saturday that we really don't fight. Oh we argue once in a while but hardly ever fight.  We have been together so long and through so much that anything stupid is not worth fighting about.  One of us usually starts to smile and that squashes the arguement.

We are very lucky.

Hugs, Lu

lv2trnscrb said...

you summed it up so well, Dawn in your last paragraph. Great insight entry!


jckfrstross said...

so true especially the last paragraph:)


eml625 said...

I agree with this. And we also want our man to be womanly when it comes to just open up and cry !!!! LOL But that's not manly.


tlgf1968 said...

primo explanation, princess! :)  the whole "man/woman" scenario is so complicated i have decided to stick with God & my cat ... lol  ((( hugs ))) trace  ps:  how's the orencia working??

lurkynat said...

Dawn you are so much the lucky princess!
And your husband has the most beautiful, strong wife mother and friend anyone could ever want to have!hugs, nat

sangrialel said...

I am so glad that men and women are so different, things would get so boring if we weren't!  Lelly

gabreaelinfo said...

As long as you find that middle ground.


sunnyside46 said...

you are very perceptife and you said it well