I am addicted!

I am addicted.  I have found my bliss.

It is this time of night that is my drug!  I just love to hear the silence.  Okay, there is an occasional snore, but mostly just silence.  Children all tucked safely in bed, hubby sleeping wherever he dropped.

This is my favorite time for me!  I just made a pot of coffee and did my nails!  YAY!  We leave tomorrow for vacation and I am feeling good.  Packing is all done.  Just last minute details remain and they are few.

Limo comes at 3am, I will revel in silence until about 2am, when I must begin to rouse the family to get them ready.

Be well, my dear friends, until we meet again, and I hope you find your bliss.  Maybe it too lies in silence!

:-D  Dawn

The World is Inherently Good!

 

I believe that people, and the world, more generally, is inherently good.  In spite of the evil, beset one human on another that we see each and every day in the paper and on the tv news, I believe those things to be in the minority of the human condition.  I believe that the stories of good and kindness are not told, and that is a shame.

I believe many more people held open the door for someone today, helped an elderly person load their car with groceries, gave someone the pennies from their wallet to pay the change needed on their bill, weeded a neighbor's garden that is too busy with her many kids, listened and gave hugs to those with heavy hearts.

I believe that there are more heroes than villains, those brave souls who are out there protecting and serving for the sanctity of life, rather than disregarding it.  Everyday heroes who get up and spread some sunshine within their own small world, in spite of their pain and challenges.  If only those stories were told more in the news, instead of just on the "slow" day as filler.

I believe that there are more people using the power of prayer rather than abusing the power of money.  More are giving of themselves, their time and their wallets to help their fellow man, woman, and child, than those who would steal from the same.

I believe that there are more tolerant, open-minded people who accept those who are different with open armed respect, than there are those who turn their backs in judgement.  There are many more who celebrate the rainbow of our world's colors than those who cling to a singleness of blind intent to be separate.

I believe that there are more smiles than frowns today all over our world.

I have to believe in this good.  It may not be celebrated by our newspapers and newscasts, but it is there.  It is how I can get up and face the day, in spite of my personal challenges, and how I can groom my children to become part of this human race, part of this ever shrinking world. 

It is hope. 

If you read this and think I am naive, then I am glad I live in my world and not yours. 

 

Good Book

I have a wonderful book to recommend for all of us out there suffering with chronic illness.  It is called Blindsided by Richard Cohen.  He is a writer and former tv producer who has been dealing with MS and its awful effects for the last 30 years.  He is also married to Meredith Viera of The View. 

The book was shockingly honest and raw in its truth.  He is completely open about his disease and its effects on his life, his ego, and his relationships.  I identified with it greatly in certain parts and had to put it down due to the tears.  It is a great, easy read and I really think all of us in the shitty boat of the auto-immune cruise-line would benefit from it.

My weekend was good.  My jaw is finally back to normal and I am feeling good as I always do just after my Remicade infusion!  Yay!

The sun shined and the weather was warm.  My ds8 had is first scout sleep-over at an environmental center in their bunk house.  He had a wonderful time although, he is quite exhausted!  I dread waking him for school tomorrow am.  Maybe God will smile on me and a car back-firing at around 7am will do the job instead of me!  LOL  Hubby didn't sleep much either as all the dad's played poker and acted as if they were in college again for the night.  (duh, men @@)

6 more days until our vacation - a Carribean cruise!  Wooohoooo!  It can't come soon enough!  I start the packing tomorrow, I am pretty organized already, it should go easy!

More later... Dawn

Baseball Yay! Health Nay...

DS10 baseball game was wonderful!  He had a single and an RBI, ( batted in a run), and his next up he got hit by a pitch.  He wasn't hurt, thank goodness, but he and his team scored a bunch that inning and they won 8-0.  YAY!

On to me...things are still painful with my jaw, although not as much.  I can eat now, but it is just generally a bit sore on the left side.  I could really do without this added nuisance.

I had my Remicade infusion yesterday.  It wipes me out for about 24-36 hours after, which is normal. 

I had the infusion director who is very thorough and went over everything going on with me of late and kind of confirmed a fear of mine.  I have been having this pain in my right leg muscles.  First the lower calf, then the hamstring and quads.  The pain is not constant, but the pain itself is always the same.  I have also had some of the same pain in my biceps accompanied by weakness.  I was thinking myositis, but didn't want to think it, and Linda, the RN and director, said the same.  She wants me checked by my rheumy before my next infusion.  Probably, they will confirm myositis, linked to the RA she believes, and may add steriods, which I have been trying avoid.  I don't know what to think or feel about that.

She also is concerned that it could be a sign that my lupus is becoming active again.  UGH.  I guess what will be, will be.  I am under good care.  I still want to try and avoid the steroids, but I want to be able to use my arms without worrying about dropping stuff.

Pray for me, I will be praying for you...

Dawn

 

OUCH! My Jaw!

I haven't written because yesterday I had my tooth repaired and a cleaning.  I didn't eat before the appt, I had to premedicate and last time it made me have to "go" to the bathroom quickly, so I figured, I'll eat later!   

BIG mistake.  My jaw was so sore from being open for all that time I could not chew.  Finally, at 8:30 pm, about 26 hours after my last food, I had some eggs and french fries that hubby ran and got me take out from the local diner.  It hurt to eat even that but I forced myself - I was starving!  

My jaw was still hurting, and it took 2 vicodin, one at 10pm and another at 3am to get me through the night.  

I am exhausted.  After I get the kids to school, I am going to lay back down, but I have lunch today at dd8's school - so not for long, since I need to shower and get myself presentable for that!   

Made it to Hope's school for lunch.  I was only able to eat french fries as my jaw is still hurting too much. :/  I hope I can eat hot dogs for dinner!   

Baseball game #2 tonite!  YAY!   More later!  Dawn

Baseball's Opening Day!

What a glorious day!  Not a cloud in the sky! 

Today was ds10's opening day for baseball.  Parade in the am, game at 3pm.  They started out great.  My son doubled on his first at bat, flied out for two others.  1 for 3 ain't bad!  The pop flies he really hit hard, when he straightens those out - look out!

  They lost though, 12-5.  Bummer.  He also pitched and did great, unfortunately, the fielding by other team members was lacking.  He also did some amazing footwork to cover 2nd base while playing short stop and got a difficult out on a fast runner.  He was really happy.  I think they all had the jitters a bit and the next games should really see it all come together!!  

The Coach (my dear hubby) is exhausted and fell asleep on the couch at 10pm.  LOL  Kids were also exhausted from their big day and running around up at the park.  There is a fair for opening day with all kinds of free food and stuff, so it is nice.  Of course, I drank too much caffeine at dinner, and now I am awake and everyone else is snoring!  Even Libby & the cats!  

Thank you everyone who has been reading and leaving me comments!! It makes me feel so good!   

This is such a crazy busy weekend and I haven't been able to get over to the Lupus Board at all, so I apologize to my Lupies...I will get there soon.  

Be well - Dawn

Medic-Alert Bracelet

I received the Medic-Alert bracelet that I begged my hubby to get me today.  I wanted it.  I picked it out - all pretty 10K gold.  I placed the order and decided what to put on it(couldn' fit all the meds - would need a 2x2 shield for all that).  I should be happy, thrilled, right?

So, why am I now feeling weird?  I guess because when I was a kid only really old, sick people had these, that's why.

I feel like I now wear the cattle brand of "illness" officially.

That is stupid.  I wanted this in case something ever happened and I was alone or unable to let them know that I am immuno-suppressed and on Remicade, Methotrexate and steroids. 

But, still I feel kind of weird.

I guess it will pass.  

Be well - Dawn