Monday, June 26, 2006

My Hubby's Problem

My husband has a problem.

You can read a previous entry of mine about this very same malady here:

The Homing Device

He loses things.  A lot. 

Not that there aren't places to put these things.  He just doesn't do it.

Today, for instance.

The alarm sounded at 6:45 am and I got up and woke my Hubby.

He left the bedroom and closed our bedroom door, so when the kids come down, it buffers some of the noise so I can sleep in while they watch some tv or play video games.

At 7:30 am, :::smash::: (because he cannot be quiet about it), Hubby opens the bedroom door, and starts to fumble about and then he asks,

'Have you seen my belt?'

I say, 'No.'

Mind you, he took said belt off his own body yesterday about 13 hours ago. 

He leaves.

At 7:20 am, :::smash::: Hubby enters again and begins to fumble about again.

Hubby asks,

'Uh, sorry, but did you see my wallet?' 

I say, 'No, but you went to Dunkin Donuts at about 1:30 pm yesterday, so you had it then.

He grunts, and then leaves. 

I guess he located said items because I finally fell back asleep until the kids started the ritual of 'letting me sleep' by waking me every 20 mintutes or so.

Now, I told you he has a problem.  It is baaaad, real baaaaad.  I need a 12 -Step Program for him, and I am not being funny.

Here is why.

Our dryer broke again for the second time since January.  It appears this time the belt that turns the drum snapped.  Of course, we had two loads wet before figuring it out, and hubby needed the polo shirts for work.  Too hot and humid for dress shirts in NYC this week.

Hubby gets the laundry loaded into our truck at 7:55 pm, after he showered all the kids for me. 

He pops his head into the family room where I have gathered the five kidlets to get them to settle in for the night...

'Where is my wallet?', he asks. 

I cannot even believe I am hearing this out of his mouth! 

After this morning, don't you think that when he took off his work clothes and put on casual shorts that he would have put in wallet and keys and change all together on one of the two 'man trays' that he has?

Oh no, not my husband!

He starts to look around, and I asked,

'Did you check your work pants?' 

He states it cannot be there because he knows he threw the wallet on our bed and/or possibly put it into his shorts.

Hubby then states that he is going to go the laundry mat to get the loads started.  He is gone for about ten minutes.

He returns and begins to fumble about the house like a fish out of water, until he comes to all of us in the family room in desperation.

He gives the exasperated look.  I get exasperated.  ARRRGHHH!

Now, five kids and myself join the darn search.  We tear apart the couches in two rooms, sift through all the dirty laundry, all the closets, upstairs and down, and look under beds and furniture everywhere.

I ask about the pants and he says again that the wallet is not in the pants.  I wonder how he can be so sure but he then asks, what was I wearing when I brought down the kids laundry basket and made the comment that I was all sweaty?

I tell him - 'Your pants.' 

He rolls his eyes and cries out, 'No. My shorts!'


I now start to look for the pants.

I locate the pants.

I pull the dang, freaking, &%#^@& WALLET from the pants!!!!!

He then smartly listened to a barage of me calling him some choice, yet PG-13 names, and ran by all the kids hysterically laughing at his stupidity, and returned back to the laundromat.

I tell you, the man NEEDS HELP.

I am still incredulous that it could happen, TWICE in one day!!!

He is untrainable, incorrigible, and frustrating as all hell.

If you hear of any programs to help with this kind of problem, please forward the web site to me!!!

be well,




thebaabee said...

Programs, you want to know about Programs.  HA~!!  There are no programs for our men.  Don't you know they are perfect.  If at least in their eyes.  LOL  I can sympathize with you Dawn, I really can.

Hugs, Lu

jckfrstross said...

David had the same problem thank god he grew out of it. he was always miss placing his wallet one tiem we never found it he had to go get new licience etc.... i went and bought him a wallet with a chain attached it hooks to the belt loop. it help alot. now he only loses his sunglasses lol good luck


klconard1 said...

Oh wow dear, I really can't imagine trying to cope with this twice in one day.  Possibly you could get his wallet tattooed onto his hand?

Seriously dear, don't they make some little tiny devices that can be put into things and you can then click on another device to make it sound a beep?  Like in car keys or remote controls?
loving you

aeelarual said...

I am sorry Dawn, but I am sitting here laughing as I read this entry.  I wish you the best of luck, but gotta tell you, there is not cure...........

dawngepfer said...

Oh my gosh!  I am ROFLMAO!!!  Too funny.  Too darn funny.

bosoxblue6993w said...

problem?    sounds normal to me.

sangrialel said...

I think that most men have this problem!!  Linda

cherry2sweet2eat said...

my mom is worse she moves things and u can ask her five seconds later and she wouldnt be able to tell u where she put it or last saw it.

sdoscher458 said...

Dawn I kid you not...Joe has lost his car keys, wallet, various other sundry items and his paycheck..thank God not on all the same day. I threatened to duct tape certain items to his butt if he did again, even that did not work.  He has a cell phone that I have had to call so many times just to find it!  Somehow it always seems that he believe that I or someone else (possibly a gnome) has evily moved his stuff just to thwart him! I think I might do a story about the adventures of Hubby...would be funny reading.  I do feel your pain, Sandi

plittle said...
No, that's not for you. That's for him. At least he can hang out online with his own kind. Tell him to look for Gr8wight on the forums.

wfhbear said...

What was the question? I think Hubby has to much going on in his mind. You know, Wife, Kids, Home, Vehicles, Work, ect. He is bound to lose something in all that stuff that is roaming around in his head. Give him a break and a cup of coffee. My Regards, Bill.

cacklinrosie101 said...

ROFL...I hate to say it but I have the same problem but not as extreme.  My mother used to tell me I would lose my head if it wasn't attached.  I am trying very hard now to put things like my car keys, etc. where they belong but the old me slips through.  LOL...where does the 12 step program meet?  HUGS  Chris