Now, I know darn well that as a mom, I am supposed to be instilling confidence and independence in my children, enabling them to spread their wings and fly away from the nest.
But hey, they are only 13, 10, and 8, I do have some time here, right? Right. So, I won't feel guilty...
Friday night, Fuzzy (age 10) tried a sleep-over at his friend's house. He had never attempted a sleep-over at B's, and he said he really wanted to try. We have had a few failed attempts at other houses, but he wanted to try again, and B had slept by us over the summer, so off he went.
The phone rang at 5 minutes after midnight. Fuzzy said, "Mom, my stomach hurts, (not), I can't sleep, can you come get me?" I replied, "On my way!".
I sent the hubby out for the actual retrieval.
Fuzzy collapsed into my arms upon arrival back at home. We headed into my bedroom, and he then started telling me everything about the evening, all the fun they had. I was happy, he had a great time! Then, he said, it was time to try to sleep, and he just couldn't and wanted to come home.
I assured him that this was fine and it doesn't really matter to his friends (it doesn't), and he should maybe consider punting on the whole sleepover thing for a while, like a year or so. Fuzzy agreed, rolled over and went to sleep.
I layed there listening to his breathing for a while. I can still tell the exact moment when he falls into deep slumber, just like when he was a baby.
Was that really some 9-10 odd years ago? In a blink of an eye, here we are at age 10 1/2.
Is it wrong, to feel so happy that my baby wanted to come back home? Is it wrong to be glad that he still needs his mommy so? I hope not.
I know that the day will come when he will leave and not return. I know, that the day will come, and it will be far too soon for me. It will happen with all three of them. I know it. A small part of me dreads it... <sigh>
So, I layed there, looking at this 10 year old man-child, and know that time waits for no one, and that it truly is okay for me to quietly enjoy his need to come home. His need for mommy.
He will always have a safe haven wherever I am.
I am mommy.