Monday, October 3, 2005

The Sleep Over that Wasn't

Now, I know darn well that as a mom, I am supposed to be instilling confidence and independence in my children, enabling them to spread their wings and fly away from the nest.


But hey, they are only 13, 10, and 8, I do have some time here, right? Right.  So, I won't feel guilty...

Friday night, Fuzzy (age 10) tried a sleep-over at his friend's house.  He had never attempted a sleep-over at B's, and he said he really wanted to try.  We have had a few failed attempts at other houses, but he wanted to try again, and B had slept by us over the summer, so off he went.

The phone rang at 5 minutes after midnight.  Fuzzy said, "Mom, my stomach hurts, (not), I can't sleep, can you come get me?"  I replied, "On my way!".

I sent the hubby out for the actual retrieval.

Fuzzy collapsed into my arms upon arrival back at home.  We headed into my bedroom, and he then started telling me everything about the evening, all the fun they had.  I was happy, he had a great time!  Then, he said, it was time to try to sleep, and he just couldn't and wanted to come home.

I assured him that this was fine and it doesn't really matter to his friends (it doesn't), and he should maybe consider punting on the whole sleepover thing for a while, like a year or so.  Fuzzy agreed, rolled over and went to sleep.

I layed there listening to his breathing for a while.  I can still tell the exact moment when he falls into deep slumber, just like when he was a baby. 

Was that really some 9-10 odd years ago?  In a blink of an eye, here we are at age 10 1/2.

Is it wrong, to feel so happy that my baby wanted to come back home?  Is it wrong to be glad that he still needs his mommy so?  I hope not. 

I know that the day will come when he will leave and not return.  I know, that the day will come, and it will be far too soon for me.  It will happen with all three of them.  I know it.  A small part of me dreads it... <sigh>

So, I layed there, looking at this 10 year old man-child, and know that time waits for no one, and that it truly is okay for me to quietly enjoy his need to come home.  His need for mommy.

He will always have a safe haven wherever I am.

I am mommy.

Be well,



lv2trnscrb said...

Dawn, its not wrong to feel so happy that Fuzzy wanted to come back home. You should feel honored that he feels safe and secure at home with you and that you have created a wonderful home and a relationship that will endure past when he actually goes and makes it through the night for a sleepover. Him knowing that he can return to the nest at any time is a good feeling to have for a 10.5 year old.


mawmellow said...

I'm 50 years old and there are times, especially when I'm ill, that I want my mom.  She's been gone for seven years now and I still can't help those feelings.  Cherish your moments together !!

meforevermore said...

It's completely natural to NEED your child to NEED you. You shouldn't feel guilty for that.

Just don't do what my mom did to me. She's pulled major guilt trips on me for wanting to be on my own. It's a fine line to walk, really. To be the person your child can come to, without clinging to them. (My mom clings lol)

Be there when he needs you, and be happy for that. But when he DOES go out on his own, even for a sleepover, be happy for that too.

It's great to be mommy.


libragem007 said...

oh Dawn... I think that is one sweet moment you and Fuzzy will always remember.
Years ago (my daughter's early elementary years) one of her bestfriend was gonna spend the night  but by midnight she has asked to go home and called her mom so of course they went and got her. One evening, when my daughter asked to spend the night she went there..but when it comes time to sleep  she wanted to come home..guess what they did? they told her, to sleep over and wait to come home the next day. They didn't even let her call me! She said she asked if them if she can call me and they told her no! I found out everything the next day from my daughter. The parents never said anything to me. Oh I was furious! And she was only a few houses down.
Anyway, enjoy your moments with your kids..they grow up fast!
Gem :-)

cdittric77 said...

You are mommy, Dawn, and it is a wondeful thing to know that you must let him become his own person. Very well done!
Peace and love,

ryanagi said...

Aww! My theory is...if your kid wants to come home/stay home you are doing something RIGHT. I remember being 5 years old and I couldn't wait to get the heck out of my house. Not a good scene. :-/

lurkynat said...

Dear Dawn
what a sweet story! Kids are so unpredictable and so loveable!

sbrlzc said...

I'm glad that he had such a good time, even if he didn't stay the entire night. I think it's good that he still needs you and wants to be with you.


fisherkristina said...

Yes, and you will always be Mommy.


stansgirl2004 said...

Not sure if it's wrong but I feel the same way. When my oldest isn't home i get knots in my stomach and he's 16!!! LOL
Hugs, Marina

eml625 said...

Oh Dawn, My  11 yr old is the SAME way. I cant tell you how many times I had to go get him at sleepovers. AND it happens when someone tries to sleep over here.
He cant sleep.