Monday, July 10, 2006

My Time is not My Own

May I ask a favor?  If everyone could visit my friend, Luanne, as she is having a tough time lately, I would appreciate it.

Here is her blog LUANNE'S LIFE LIVING WITH LUPUS

Thank you!

The kids and I have been busy! 

Friday, we went to my sister Kathy's and had a fun day swimming in the pool!  Fuzzy stayed overnight and Kathy returned with him on Saturday.  We all had a nice visit together then, too.

I was supposed to go with my Book & Movie Club to see 'The Devil Wears Prada' on Saturday night.  I was really looking forward to it, and the date was set about 2 months ago, but I had to cancel.

My hubby and boys were leaving for Boy Scout camp on Sunday morning, and the boys, especially Fuzzy, wanted me to have dinner with them Saturday night and spend the night at home with them.

How could I say no?

Last night, Pumpkin and I went out for a quiet dinner with my mom and dad.  I say quiet, because 4 family members as opposed to 7 makes for a calmer and overall quiet dinner, however, Pumpkin rarely stops talking!!!  So, the 'quiet' thing is relative... lol

Then, Pumpkin and I started our Girls Night Alone!  We watched Robin Hood on cable, the movie version with Kevin Costner from 1991.  I love that version, very romantic and full of action, and Pumpkin really enjoyed it, too.

Pumpkin didn't want to sleep upstairs, as her brother's room across the hall was empty.  So, she came into bed with me.  She also didn't want to sleep with the light on, so, I told her I would read until she fell off to la la land.

Sounds like a plan,right?  Going to bed later than usual should have helped it all along.  Right?

Wrong.

Pumpkin burst into tears at about 11:30 pm, crying that she couldn't sleep without her daddy and brothers in the house. 

We talked about how she went to her Girl Scout sleep over and we all missed her and how it was now the boys turn.

Pumpkin informed me that she only feels good and safe when her family is all together. 

I smiled.  I feel the same. 

So, I told her that, and then told her this...

That over the years now, more and more, they will start to spend time out of house, doing new things.

As a mom, when I held her and her brothers, for the first time as babies, I knew her dad and I had a really tough job ahead of us. 

Our job was to care for each and every one of their needs as infants, and to love and protect them. 

Then, as they grow, our job begins to expand and get harder.

We still love and protect and provide for their needs, but with each year that passes, we also teach them to care for some of their own needs, the first steps toward being independent. 

It is our job as parents to teach you to someday be able to leave us as responsible adults that live and work on your own, leaving us and your 'nest' if you will.  All the while we will be loving you, and supporting you, as well.

Each year, more and more, they grow and thrive, and are getting closer to that goal, and going to camp, and sleep overs, are all a part of the process.

Someday, I told her, she and her brothers will have three nests oftheir own!  And, her dad and I will visit them there.

Of course, they can always come visit their home nest, because wherever her dad and I am, will always be their home as well. 

Pumpkin stopped crying as I gave this long talk, and didn't cry again. 

But, before settling in to fall asleep, she told me that although what I said was true, she didn't have to like it.

No, my dear sweet little Pumpkin Muffin, you don't have to like it.

And, neither do I.

be well,
Dawn

15 comments:

dawngepfer said...

No, time (as mothers) is not our own and thanks be to God for it!  :)  Your entry was lovely.  I've got a smile on my face right now that just won't quit!

Be well yourself,
The Other Dawn

memes121 said...

Just checking in! Tammy http://journals.aol.com/memes121/AsIAM/#Entry703

jckfrstross said...

enjoy the time of never wanting to leave. because when it happens it breaks your heart. i loved hoe you worded it to pumpkin nice. enjoy the week

Deb

lv2trnscrb said...

I'll go and visit Luanne, Dawn, after I leave my comment. What a sweet little one Pumpkin is. I know what you mean about not feeling good unless all are home in the family. Enjoy each and every minute with them as the years do fly by all too fast as you know. Just think, though, when they go into their own nests and have grandchildren, what a joy that will be :) My brother had his kids young so he's a grandfather now for the past three years (he'll turn 50 next month). He says grandkids are the best. I agreed with him but told him with Matt being 17, I wasn't quite ready for them now :)

I hope you and Pumpkin enjoy your girl time :)

betty

h0llyk911 said...

I don't have children - but I do have a cat - does that count for anything?  hee hee.  I'm home alone ALL THE TIME - should I not have a furball to snort in my face, lick my armpit or to flip me in the face with her overly fluffy tail in the wee hours of the morning - I couldn't sleep either!  Wait a minute...  Hmm...  :)  Great blog, by the way!

cdittric77 said...

what a fabulous entry. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Charley
http://journals.aol.com/cdittric77/courage

cacklinrosie101 said...

Aw, that was so sweet.  Yes, our goal is to get them self sufficient so they can leave us and thrive.  It's hard for them to understand when they are small because they depend on us so much.  Sounds like a nice "girls" weekend.  HUGS Chris

sangrialel said...

I hope your friend is feeling better soon.  I will head on over there and send my best wishes and prayers.  Linda

eml625 said...

My son is the same way !!!  Anything out of the norm, he cant sleep. That was so sweet what you told her.
hugs,
Ellen

thebaabee said...

DAWN,
MEANT TO TELL YOU THAT THE PICTURE OF YOUR HUBBY IN HIS SCOUTING UNFORM REMINDS ME OF MY HUBBY IN HIS.  ESPECIALLY THE SUMMER SHORTS.  TO ME THEY LOOK LIKE HUGE FIVE YEAR OLDS.  BUT ISN'T IT GREAT THAT THEY TAKE SUCH AN ACTIVE PART IN THEIR SON'S LIVES.  WE ARE LUCKY TO HAVE THESE MEN.

OH HOW I REMEMBER THOSE WEEKENDS WHEN HUBBY AND SON WOULD GO CAMPING WITH THE SCOUTS.  LAUREN AND I WOULD CUDDLE TOGETHER IN MY BED AND ORDER IN CHINESE FOOD AND WATCH MOVIES.  IT WAS A LOT OF FUN.  NOW THAT SHE IS A YOUNG WOMAN AND IN LOVE HER TIME IS SPENT WITH HER BOYFRIEND.  MY MEN HARDLY GO CAMPING ANY MORE.  GARY, JR. BECAME AN EAGLE SCOUT AND NOW IS INVOLVED WITH THE VENTURE CREW.  THEY GO AWAY TOO, BUT SINCE HE IS AN ADULT (HE IS ALMOST 21) HE GETS HIS STUFF READY HIMSELF.  AND HUBBY, STAYS HOME MORE OFTEN BECAUSE HE WORRIES ABOUT LEAVING ME ALONE.

HAVE YOUR BOYS BEEN TO TEN MILE RIVER??  MINE HAVE BEEN THERE MANY TIMES.  PLUS GARY, JR. HAS DONE ALL OF THE HIGH ADVENTURE TRECKS.  WHEN IT'S TIME FOR YOUR GUYS TO GO, IT'S SOMETHING THEY SHOULDN'T  MISS.  MY SON SAID THEY WERE AMAZING TRIPS.

AGAIN, THANK YOU FOR SENDING READERS TO MY JOURNAL YESTERDAY.  THEIR COMMENTS BROUGHT ME RIGHT OUT OF THE FUNK I WAS IN.

BUNCHES OF HUGS AND LOVE,
LUANNE

wfhbear said...

What you have talked about here is the meaning of HOME. It should be the safest place we know. I'll go visit your friend Luanne now. Regards, Bill.

sunnyside46 said...

what a sweet story...brings back memories of when I had all the answers, before my kids became teenagers...I miss them snuggling in my bed.
Marti

lurkynat said...

dear Dawn
yeah it's hard to think of them as leaving us and taking off on their own! gee whiz!
love,nat

lurkynat said...

dear Dawn
yeah it's hard to think of them as leaving us and taking off on their own! gee whiz!
love,nat

lurkynat said...

dear Dawn
yeah it's hard to think of them as leaving us and taking off on their own! gee whiz!
love,nat