Have you ever noticed that as much as things are different, they stay the same?
I have certain discussions it seems over and over with my Hubby and I just don't get why.
I have rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. Some things just are. This affects my ability to do some things. I do not like having to address the topic of my shortcomings over and over again. Yet, somehow, we do.
I cannot tell you how many times I have spoken the words, 'You seem to forget about the RA and Lupus.' and it isn't always to my Hubby, but it does seem to be to him a lot recently.
One of the more unpleasant aspects of these two lovely chronic diseases is what we call 'brain fog'. It sucks. Sometimes I do stupid things.
Monday, while helping Fuzzy on and off with a report, I also ran to the car to grab some cd's that Hammer specifically wanted uploaded to itunes. I had just figured out how to do it, and was happy to oblige him.
Stupidly, in the rush, I left the car turned to the 'on' position with the keys in the ignition.
You guessed it. Battery dead. Which we found out as Hubby jumped into the car to run off to a leader's Boy Scout meeting.
Yeah, I did it. I don't even remember doing it. Big duh on my part. However, I did NOT do it on purpose or to ruin anyone's night.
After a car jump and about 15 minutes, Hubby was off.
I was left behind feeling like an idiot.
Sure, he came home and apologized, and told all the kids he was wrong to make such a big deal out of it, yada yada... but still, it hurts. Still.
And, it sucks to be reminded that I am not the same person I used to be. Who never had to make lists, who never got confused, who never screwed up big stuff and little stuff in big and little ways.
Anyhow, I have rheumatoid arthritis and lupus and I can't forget it. Not even for a minute. For even on the best days, of which I have been having many lately, things are not the same.
Never the same.