Monday, September 26, 2005

The Double XX Syndrome

Some of you may guess that this is about us females, since we have 2 X chromosomes, and males have XY.

And, yes, it is about us women, starting with little girls and their sibling interactions with brothers.

I know all of you with a two or more kids have heard these phrases:

"It was an accident!"

"I didn't mean to hit him/her/it!"

"It's not my fault!"

And so many more. 

Recently, at a BBQ at our friend's house, we all got chatting about the kids after an incident of sibling unrest.  My hubby and I have 2 boys and a girl, and they each have an older girl and younger boy. 

We started laughing about these phrases we all hear and then our friend, A, mentioned how his daughter always gives back at least two times what she gets back to her brother.  Our other friends and myself, indeed confirmed that this is the truth; the girls tend to pay back double.

I have been thinking about this for a while since that BBQ, and I have noticed that my little Pumpkin Muffin really does feel compelled to cause at least double the injury inflicted on her, in retribution, back to her brothers.

A recent hit in the arm from a brother, was retaliated in kind, and followed up with a swift kick in the shins for good measure.  If a brother loses a book of hers, then she will purposely "lose" two of theirs.  Lord help you if you draw blood, because my sweet little girl has fangs!

I have definitely found that it is case of "One good turn deserves two others" in the brother/sister relationship wheel.

But, that isn't all.  Once a tussle has happened the boys forget as soon as the incident is over.  They quickly get distracted by video games or tv.  They just move on, and will be ready to laugh and play like it never occurred.

Not my dear Pumpkin Muffin.  She will not let it go.  She will brood on it.  If she feels that sufficient pain was not dealt out to the offending brother, she will lie in wait like an operative for the CIA.  She will smile and draw them into a false sense of security, that she has, indeed, forgiven and forgotten.  Poor misguided boys, that is when she strikes and wields the death blow.  Now, it is over, because SHE says it is.

Interestingly, my hubby seems to think that this behavior is consistent with that of women in a dating relationship or marriage.  After freezing him out for a sufficient amount of time after making such a statement, I asked him if that is true, and he was raised with sisters, why didn't he learn from those experiences as a child?  He had no answer to that.  Humph.

I think that he didn't learn because the pattern of the Double XX Syndrome was not pointed out to him so he could become aware and thus, possibly change his behavior accordingly.  My hubby readily agreed.  (smart man)

I am going to try to help my sons from repeating their father's mistake.  They have already noticed the Double XX Syndrome in their sister.  I have nodded my head and so has my hubby and told them that they need to make note and get used to it. 

After all, these young men will someday be dating and even getting married.  I owe it to their future wives to help them understand us women better, don't I?

Be well,
Dawn

 

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL That is so true. I have brothers.

Hugs,
Susan

Anonymous said...

oops, I forgot to say in my previous comment - what do you think about those Chargers last night, LOL

betty

Anonymous said...

You have something here, Dawn. I think you do need to educate your boys to this. Have you checked out Kathryn's journal

http://journals.aol.com/hopesingod/MySonNicholas/

She has three kids; 2 boys and a girl and I think her daughter does about some of the same things your precious daughter does too.

betty

Anonymous said...

Oh I Love Love Love this entry Dawn! LOL..so true! yes! we women comes back 2x more... no make that 10 x more against the opposite sex if they ever try to cross our path....heaven help them! LOL!
yeah..you'll be doing the future daughter in laws a great favor!
Gem :-)

Anonymous said...

I pray for her future spouse!!!
Peace and love,
Charley
http://journals.aol.com/CDittric77/Courage

Anonymous said...

After freezing him out for a sufficient amount of time after making such a statement,/// I could not go any further!! Crying with laughter over here!!! Be back to ponder later!!! Penny

Anonymous said...

lol oh wow that's so true... I was raised with two boys (not brothers but close enough lol) and I did that lol It wasn't finished until I SAID it was finished lol

Nice entry.

~Lily

Anonymous said...

oh so funny LOL...I'd say the halo is a little bent. I guess the differences start very young don't they? I had two boys and one girl and boy...the girl bested the boys at "get back".  They still fear her and they are grown.....Sandi

Anonymous said...

Oh how true great entry:)

Deb

Anonymous said...

OMG - That is SO true . My daughter will give back doube what she got. Now, thinking back, my poor brother, who grew up with four sisters, is probably still trying to get over that fact.

Ellen
http://journals.aol.com/eml625/Onedayatatime

Anonymous said...

As a mom to 3 boys, stepmom to another and one little diva, the youngest....It has been my quest to give the boys the "guidelines"....a peek into what is to come...I hope they are paying attention! LOLL
Jodi

Anonymous said...

THIS IS SO TRUE!
I am the mother of a "princess" and a older son.  I find that my son has already learned the lesson.  I have been hinting to him all along.  Since he was a young boy.  My "princess" is doubly the "diva" because while she was in the womb (very early on) I was dx with pre cervical cancer.  I had to undergo a biopsy, D and C and anesthesia.  This "princess" survived all of it and was born with a strong spirit, indeed.
Hugs, LuAnne

Anonymous said...

This is wonderful, and you can bet I'll be back to visit more!

Rachael
http://journals.aol.com/rashgirl13/RachsDailyLife

Anonymous said...

as the father of 2 daughters ... i couln't agree more

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha!  Poor guys, even with your help they will never be prepared for the adult of the species XX.  Heck, even after 21 years of marriage Dickidoo still hasn't learned to leave well enough alone.

Anonymous said...

cute! xxooxx and in defense of girls they also hurt twice as bad
nat

Anonymous said...

Good luck, but we men are slow learners sometimes:)

Chris
http://journals.aol.com/swibirun/Inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings
http://www.bigoven.com/~swibirun

Anonymous said...

I agree 100%. I have two boys and two girls.
My boys are always shocked when one of their sisters tear them a new one.
I raise my boys to believe that woman are to be respected and loved always.
But to keep an open eye out for their sneaky left hook ............

Anonymous said...

Note to Pumpkin Muffin:  YOU GO GIRL!

~~ jennifer