Sunday, July 24, 2005

The Homing Device

I have a lesson for all the males out there in J-land and the world over.

My J-land friend Michael over at Confessions of a Madman has a recent journal entry that is hilarious about losing things.  You should all pop over and give it a read because it is very funny, and as always with Michael, well written.

I could have saved Michael some stress, though.

In order to find his keys he needed a uterus. 

Now, of course, I don't expect Michael, a man, to have his own, so that is where his wife would have come in handy!

My hubby has learned this lesson well, finally, now that we have been together for just more than 15 years.

It doesn't matter what he has lost, it doesn't even matter if I never saw the lost item in the first place.  He comes to me first, and early in the search. 

He knows that the uterus will prevail.

Why?  Because we know our "men" better than they know themselves.  And, since they are from Mars - they lose things.  Women are from Venus - and we find things.  I know this is not proven scientific fact, but that is my story and I am sticking to it! <grin>

One recent weekend my dearest hubby lost his keys, his cell phone, and our daughter.

The keys were in the couch in the family room where he insisted he looked and had not even been sitting, the cell phone was left outside on the patio table, and our daughter had just wandered upstairs to her grandparents.  Easy finds, yet without my help...who knows!!!  lol

Unfortunately, my sons are showing signs of this "losing things" male phenomenon.  The funniest part is they will enlist the help of their little sister to find stuff.  My little uterus in training!  However, she has not fully matured into her role as a homing device yet.  Most often, Pumpkin just gets annoyed with her brothers and sends them on their way to me.

Hammer is the biggest "loser of stuff" between the boys.  His Asperger's Syndrome certainly contibutes to that - think Absent Minded Professor, without the glasses.  He is forever misplacing his books, video games, drink cups, clothing, etc.  And they are almost always within several feet of him or in the room he forgot he just exited 5 minutes ago. 

Fuzzy is better.  He doesn't lose as many things or as often as Hammer, however, once he does lose something he could walk past it 10 times, not see it.  It is genetic, I am convinced.

So, all the males in J-land save yourself some time and energy and enlist your female companions help early in the search for your lost things.  It will make everyone happier and less grumpy. 

Women in J-land, accept your role with grace and the least amount of eye rolling you can muster!!!

Be well,



sbrlzc said...

You are so right, Dawn! I am the keeper of all things in our house. I tell DH that I can only be responsible for 99% of his things at any one time. He knows this to be true as well. LOL


sdoscher458 said...

This is sooooo hubby would lose his shirt if he sat long enough...he actually has recently lost his favorite ring (while sleeping!!) When all else fails...he yells Uncle and asks me for help. LOL....Sandi

fisherkristina said...

I can always find things that John has lost.  He loses and I find, lol.


swibirun said...

Hi.  My name's Chris and I've been a member of Misplacers Anonymous for 37 years.


madmanadhd said...

Thanks for the pimp... found my keys by the way. Under the car seat where I've looked at least 20 times!!!
My wife is my keeper of all things important and worthwhile. Unfortunately when she is in production mode I am on my own.... a real lost soul.

klconard1 said...

Oh my -- you have your hands full dear.  One thing is sure.  Your hubby needs you and will always need you.  Hopefully he appreciates your expertise and skills!
loving you