Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Wild Thing

Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- Cocaine is a downer.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.
I am proud to say that most of these could be said about me!!!
be well,


topazscorpio27 said...

Some of these apply to chocolate eaters too but my adoptive parents are Mr. Good bar and Baby Ruth.  -Dawn-

tenyearnap said...

HAHAHAAAHAA...oh you ARE good to the last drop. --Cin

ktkamanski said...

I would say this is soooo true but in my world it's Tea! Thanks for the laugh! Have a wonderful day!

sugarsweet056 said...

WOO HOO! I'd say YEAH!

sdoscher458 said...

Oh I needed to laugh. Thank, Sandi

ladymagnolia1963 said...

LOL I love these signs Ü.

When I wake up in the morning the first thing I say to hubby is Cuppa, Cuppa, Cuppa-short for cup of coffee, because that takes too long to say lol. I cracked up on the one that said "You don't tan, you roast" LOL, now I know why my Mom is soooo tanned Ü. Thanks for the laugh.


thebaabee said...

"Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."

I love this one.  Hugs, Lu

mleighin21st said...

These things aren't normal????  Oh, and I want that guy's backpack!
                               ;-)  Leigh      


justaname4me2 said...


It's official.

Life would cease to exist if coffee was taken off my daily menu.

Good to know, really, that I'm not the only one who would perish should coffee become extinct.

Rebecca Anne

toonguykc said...

I just read that all these "energy drinks" people spend 3 bucks a can for have no more caffeine than a single cup of coffee!  SUCKERSSS!!!


cherry2sweet2eat said...

omg thats funny i dont drink coffee like that unless my mom makes some then i free load off of hers.

nay0114 said...

LoL... I'm glad I don't drink coffee. Well, actually I only do that in Vegas because I don't wanna go to sleep while I'm there I might miss something.
Take care, Chrissie

eml625 said...

THAT was funny. I love the "only source of nutrition is sweet & low" somedays I feel like that !

deshelestraci said...

Thanks for the good laugh!

coelha said...

LOL...  Think twice before you bite other people's fingernails..LOL...  Very funny!!  Julie

rdautumnsage said...

You are definitely the coffee princess! (Hugs) Indigo

acoward15 said...

Decaffeinated Coffee is the Devil's blend!

gazker said...

I lurveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee coffeeeeeeeeee!
Gaz xx

erarein63 said...

Cute!  De ;)

glensfork4 said...

I just have to say that is the best thing I have ever read...sitting here literally laughing out loud.....


sangrialel said...

LOL this was really funny.  Grinding coffee beans in your teeth???  That might not taste so good.  Linda

hsauls said...

I would follow that starbucks man ANYWHERE!
I ran out of kcups... I know, AGAIN! I went out in 103 degree heat today to buy more coffee. Seriously.
*caffeinated hugs*

donejustwrite said...


Unfortunately, I can relate to all of it.