If you have, can you send out a homing beacon for me to follow?
All of these past few weeks, in fact, basically the past few months of the new year, have taken their toll on me.
My body has been under a continual assault of tingling, burning, numbness, weakness, fatigue, and pain. I have had bronchitis and colds. Stomach viruses, too.
The kids have been sick or injured it seems, or my parents, or my Hubby, one after the other, after the other.
And, just when I thought the Menopause Fairy had actually come and gone, I got a very rude April Fool's Day surprise of finding out that I was just on a FOUR MONTH long PAUSE not menopause. Dang peri-menopause... another cruel joke of Mother Nature.
(sorry about the TMI, boys....)
Something has to give right? So, it seems it is my sanity that is bearing the brunt.
How is that, you say? Well, I seem to cry at the drop of a hat, of late. Quite annoying. And, I seem to have some anxiety about what most would call simple things. Driving somewhere far from home, and what not. As long as I am in my little 5 mile square area, on my back roads, preferrably, I am good.
Much more than that, and I really dislike it. I can force myself to do it... but it isn't easy.
Maybe it is because of the comforts I crave due to being chronically in pain, I don't know.
Maybe it is because I really don't like being in the car, in an alert driving state very long, because the tension adds more to the pain. I don't know.
Tomorrow, I am doing a focus group, I can't mention specifics, but this is when you try out a product and then chat about it for a while in a controlled setting for the maker of the product to test it etc.
The cool part is you get paid, and this one, I will get a whopping $120, which is more than most. They are usually about $75.
At first, I was so excited to be going and doing this.
Now, today, I am not. I am already starting the mental game I have to play with myself to psyche myself up to do things that I don't want to do.
At least, the money at the end is a nice treat to use as a carrot for myself.
Isn't that awful though? It just seems so pathetic and wrong at 41 years old, to feel this way about spending two hours out chit chatting about a product.
I am already hoping the chairs will be comfortable and they will have water out to drink on the table. (They ususally do have water)
Sometimes, they overbook and then let a few people leave and pay you just for showing up... so sad that I hope it will happen to me this time.
I sound like a cranky old lady, don't I?
Here is another cranky old lady comment, 'Youth is wasted on the young' and 'If I only knew then, what I know now'.
Well, I can't let the kids down, they think I am going to be so influential with this product testing that maybe I will get my name on it! LOL How cute!!! Not gonna happen, but very cute!