Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Time after Time

I am frustrated...  torn...  tired...

Slaying dragons is hard work...

Even when they exist only in your mind...

I revisit this time after time after time after time...

I cannot please everyone.

If I push myself to please the kids...

          ...then, I am tired later, and my husband is not pleased.

If I try to reserve myself for later in the day or evening...

          ...then, the kids are not pleased.

If I push myself to do housework...

          ...then, I am tired; neither are pleased.

If I don't push and my mom pushes herself too much...

          ...then, my dad is not pleased.

If I do too much myself, and I am hurting...

          ...then, my mom is really not pleased.

What about me?  What about what I want?  What pleases me?

If I can't make everyone happy...

          ...then, I am really not pleased.

<sigh>

The only beings that I know I can please EVEN if I am laying in bed a sore, fatigued, sorry mess, are Pumpkin, the black cat, and Libby, the dog.

<sigh>

be well,
Dawn

36 comments:

sunnyside46 said...

I am sorry you are discouraged.
Everyone needs you
there's only so much of you to go around.
it never ends,
just circles around again
tomorrow things will look better
meanwhile,
the animals are happy
Love
Marti

tendernoggle said...

WE CAN ONLY DO THE BEST WE CAN...HAVING LIVED WITH MY DANNY, WHO HAD EVERY IMAGINABLE FORM OF ARTHRITIS THERE IS, I CAN WELL ATTEST TO THE TERRIBLE PAIN THAT IS INVOLVED.....AND SOME DAYS ARE WORSE THAN OTHERS, RIGHT?  WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS ...IF YOU HAVE TO REST...REST...IF THE WORK IS TOO DIFFICULT, ASK FOR HELP...DO NOT OVERDO IT..SEE IF YOUR DOCTOR CAN HELP WITH NEW DRUGS...YOUR MAMA, AND YOUR HUSBAND, AND YOUR CHILDREN ALL HAVE ONE THING IN COMMON...THEY ALL LOVE YOU, NO MATTER WHAT.
GOD BLESS  YOU MY FRIEND,
LOVE YA,
CARLENE

nightmaremom said...

I always say... 'if momma ain't happy then no one is happy'   Do what you need to do.  
love ya
d

toonguykc said...

You need to communicate your frustrations and anxieties to your husband.  Don't take on all this by yourself.  Okay?

Hug,
Russ

nay0114 said...

Sorry.. sounds like you need a break somewhere.
Take care, Chrissie

tenyearnap said...

You have a lot of people around you all the time. That's hard on anyone. I can't imagine juggling the needs of all these people and being tired and in pain, too. Maybe it is time for a family meeting? And what Russ said...maybe just letting your husband read what you have written here?
--Cin

sdoscher458 said...

Moderation my friend. That is the key word. Everything for everybody does not need to be "perfect".  When you are feeling the worst hurt, be truthful with them..just say that you need some "me" time to recharge. Recently my sisters thought that taking my folks out for a full day of running around would be nice for them, instead it wore them out and they suffered for days. Common sense has to prevail. Hope that you feel better my friend...love, Sandi

am4039 said...

don't push and relax a little. Sounds like you are very tired.

eml625 said...

((((((( DAWN )))))))))))))

I'm sorry for your pain, wanting everyone to be happy might not always be the answer to things. Your health is more important.
Be well,
Ellen

thebaabee said...

Oh Dawn,
I stil haven't gotten this down right. But, I do try.  It's hard pleasing everyone all the time.  But, if you are not having a good day ~~ no one in the house will have a good day.  (More in an email).  Hugs, Lu

pharmolo said...

Sometimes you have to put no 1 first, Dawn. But it helps if those around you are happy too

mztishgray0726 said...

Take it a bit easier on yourself Dawn.  We can't please everyone like you said.  What about you?  I truth of the matter is if you don't take better care of you you can't be there for everyone else.  According to my sponz and my grand sponz it has a lot to do with balance.  We think we have control over things and we really don't.  So Relax; God's in Charge.  Hugs & Love Tish.

gazker said...

Hello from Spain. Pack up and get your arse over to Spain with me ok? I am sure a few days away will help hun!

Hugs Gaz xxxx

sugarsweet056 said...

You can't please everyone, I learned that a looong time ago. If you please yourself...others will fall into place.
Hugs,Sugar

ukgal36 said...

I declare today to be "Dawn" day..you do anything you want today and nothing you don't...
Happy Dawn Day!!!
hugs
Lyn

klconard1 said...

Oh how well I know this dilemma, dearheart.  I lived it too -- and with a family who had zero understanding of what was going on for me.
My parents are now dead.  My children are now grown and on their own, so my dilemma has shrunk quite a bit.  I do not belittle your frustrations or feelings, dear.  This is a very real issue with daily choices and consequences.  I do know you are doing the best you can to make the best and wisest choices.
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) there are moments when I would give anything to be back there in those days when my children wanted me very involved in their lives and activities and my parents were there in my life.  Tthough I know it's hurtful (and impossible) to be trying to please so many people at once, that bigger dilemma is a blessing in many ways.
loving you
karyl

astoriasand said...

Hi I came by from  Lynns blog at her request.MAKE THIS YOUR DAY TO BE HAPPY AND REST REST REST.You will be amazed how the others all pull together if your not there to do things and you are doing as you wish for a change..... You take time out and look after yourslef,for a little while.I am sure they will all understand and all know you love to make them all happy,when you are able.Prayers being said your pain soon heals.Take Care God Bless Kath
Astoriasand http://journals.aol.co.uk/astoriasand/MYSIMPLERHYMES

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((((DAwN))))))))))))))))))))))))I am sorry you are feeling down today,I hope things look up for you,I can tell you I have thoes days myself.HAPPY DAWN DAY!!!!!!!!!!Relax and take it easy.

ktkamanski said...

Hoping for a brighter day - You deserve it!  Please Yourself and the rest will follow!
Enjoy your day!
Katie

tenyearnap said...

Hey...over at Brit's Blog, I am told that it is "Dawn's Day"! So happy Dawn's Day to you, my friend.
:-) Cin

chat2missie said...

As a fellow mom, I sooo understand what you mean.  Take care and have a great day.
Missie

deshelestraci said...

You said it.  There is no pleasing everyone all the time.  And it sucks.  I know it tends to be more work than doing the work yourself, and I really hate to give advice when it isn't asked for, but, do you enlist the kids to help?  They are big enough.  And if this was just a vent, please excuse the advice!  Hoping you will be feeling more up later.
Traci

deshelestraci said...

I forgot to tell you that all your symptoms are a sign of a great mother, wife and daughter!  You are all three!  Smile, you are loved!
Traci

mumma4evr said...

sending you hugs!!!
Becky

coelha said...

Dawn..  You so need a margarita.  :(  I'm sorry.  You need some time to yourself-a vacation from everyone and everything; even if it's just an empty house to yourself without any distractions.  I'm hoping you'll find some time to yourself..  Hugs--  Julie

eml625 said...

Just to let you know, lyn gave you a shout out in her blog, you now offically have a day set aside for YOU !!!!
hugs,
E.

coelha said...

I was just told it was DAWN'S DAY!!!  :)  Happy Dawn Day!!  :)  You're an AWESOME woman Dawn---celebrate--do something fun today!!  Julie

faveanti said...

I was told it was Dawn's Day too and, having had a quick nosey around bits of your journal, I can see why.  You sound like a lovely person.  And most importantly - imperfect, just like the rest of us.  Don't be so hard on yourself.
Angie, x
http://journals.aol.co.uk/faveanti/canyouallhearmeattheback/

rdautumnsage said...

Amazing isn't it, when life goes to hell in a hand basket our lovely animals carry us through! If you stretch yourself so thin , there won't be anything left for anyone. The kids, hubby, your parents, they all need to take a chill break and appreciate YOU more. Glad to see Lyn gave you a day for you. I can't think of anyone more deserving! (Hugs) Indigo

elainey2465 said...

Ive come over from Lyn's journal - happy dawn's day!! YAY!!!! Love Laine xxxx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/elainey2465/art-degree/

ksgal3133 said...

Happy Dawn Day :)
I kinda understand about purshing yourself to please others and then others getting upset with you because you are doing that.
Hang in there and I'm here for you anytime!

Hugs and prayers,
Gretchen

sangrialel said...

Just take care of yourself!!  Linda

swmpgrly said...

I am here for dawns day!!!
dawn as for the pleasing people...that was me all the way now I know I can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time so I focus on me...lol

teeisme57 said...

Every day should be Dawn Day! Probably the hardest thing I had to do was to stop feeling GUILTY, Dawn, when I couldn't meet others expectations (and my own) of me. I think we tend to except other shortcomings easier then we do our own. Let yourself off the hook. Your family loves you no matter what and they can handle being disappointed sometimes. I can bet that what you lack in some areas, you make up in others, many times over.

cacklinrosie101 said...

Aw, Dawn, I sure can relate to slaying the dragons in my mind but really the only dragon I'm slaying right now is the mental one that nicotine deprival has created.  I should be thanking my lucky stars that I'm not fighting chronic pain and other illnesses.  Your family is still young and have so many needs and demands.  Hang in there...Big hugs, Chris

lurkynat said...

Gee Dawn, take god care of yourself!
we all love you so much! love,nat